Where the hell is Ross Perot? Why isn’t HE running for president? He ALWAYS runs for president. I need something to laugh at and he’d be perfect.
He’s old, see. Just lookit this here chart:
See? He’s fucking old!
The role of “entertainingly crazy insane candidate” in this election cycle will be played by Alan Keyes.
The black ops group that threatened his family during his last run for president currently has them all secured in an underground bunker.