So eHarmony kept pestering me to come back, and gave me a good price, so I finally bit. After a few weeks I’m matched with a person who’s actually currently looking and is not one of these people who’s profile sounds like she goes rock climbing one weekend, skiing the next and bungee jumping the week after that (when do these people do their laundry, anyway?). She’s cute, interesting-sounding, a physical therapist, age appropriate yet doesn’t look as old as my mom, so I contact her with my quick questions-- lo, she responds with her answers and her own questions. I reply. Finally this morning I get an email that states that she’s replied again. I go to the site, and…nothing. Her reply should appear under “Communicating with…” and “My turn” but there’s nothing there. It’s like her profile has disappeared. Grrr.
EDIT: Ugh, never mind. When I searched for her first name under “Hidden Matches” her profile showed up as having “moved on” so her profile is no longer visible. Huh? I guess that’s a kind of “response” to my response, but eHarmony sure makes you look for it.
Not to mention the pit in the basement with the pulley and the basket. ;-)
But seriously, you’d think eHarmony could send out a different email than “so and so has replied to you” and a button saying “read what xxxx wrote” when all she did was hide/block you.
I thought that that was the “It’s Just Lunch” people from a few years back? I hadn’t heard of eHarmony being guilty of that.
In any case, an eHarmony person wrote me back when I wrote that the email they sent was dumb and misleading, saying that “they understood my concern about my possible match” and that “we can understand that it may be difficult when a match closes communication,” as though that were my issue. Way to miss the point, sigh.
Anyway on the larger issue of looking for someone when you’re over 50, I’m not hopeful. My main problem is that I’m just not attracted to plus-sized and older looking women at all, and since I’m no longer young/hot enough to attract women under 45 (apparently, judging by my utter lack of success doing so over the last 10 years), I just don’t see it happening.
Why are you fixating on under 45 if you’re over 50? Particularly if you’re over 50 and having trouble? There are plenty of women 50+ who are attractive. I’m not suggesting you have to lower your standards as to whom you find attractive, I’m saying stop paying attention to a number.
Oh, I’m not fixated on a number–in fact the person who suddenly blocked me (after answering my questions and getting my–apparently unsatisfactory–answers back) is 47. I just threw it out there as a general guideline of an age over which I just find very few women romantically interesting, most often because they’ve gotten quite heavy by then (I’m talking 35 lb excess and up–an especially American affliction, alas, which affects a lot of younger women as well).
