What Could Possibly Go Wrong?


#41

Well if I had to choose between a broken bone or two via trampoline or getting doused with napalm, I’m going with the broken trampoline bones. Not that either is going to happen at my advanced age.


#42

Bones heal. Horrific scarring from burns last forever.


#43

Swiss Army Barbie.

Sharp objects inside toys for small children? Genius!


#44

Warren mayor seeks citywide ban on personal flamethrowers. We’re not all completely insane in Michigan!


#45

North Dakota legalizes armed police drones

With the passage of a new law earlier this year, North Dakota has become the first state to legalize law enforcement use of armed drones.

Though the law limits the type of weapons permitted to those of the “less than lethal” variety — weapons such as tear gas, rubber bullets, beanbags, pepper spray and Tasers — the original bill actually aimed to ensure that no weapons at all were allowed on law enforcement drones.

How long before the first one tazes the governor’s dog or something?


#46

Chicago Taco Bell is first to serve alcohol. I think they have that backwards. First you get drunk, then you crave Taco Bell.

Apparently they did put a little thought into it, at least as far as decor goes:

The premises in which I am required to stay until I finish my drink — a Twisted Mountain Dew Baja Blast Freeze With Tequila ™ — do not look like a normal Taco Bell. It looks like Taco Bell saw how Chipotle dressed on the first day of junior high and begged its mom to get it the same clothes. The tables are wood. There is art. There are people waiting for tables. There are people taking pictures of their food.

On our way to the future!


#47

Referee takes gun onto field after spat with players

A dispute over a call in a soccer match boiled over to the point that a referee brought out a pistol on the field this weekend near the Brazilian city of Belo Horizonte. The referee, who is also a policeman, reportedly felt threatened and wanted to take control of the situation.

Fortunately the worst didn’t happen. It’s hard to blame the ref for taking some action, since he’d apparently been “slapped and kicked by a player after he decided not to give a red-card penalty over a foul”, but obviously escalation to firearms isn’t the response you want to see.


#48

Do not send pic to FAA, our five year old girls are the last ones to not get hassled :).


#49

Artist turns dead cat into drone, next up is cow

Jansen has enlisted the help of his engineer pal Arjen Beltman, and together they’re working on a one-person aircraft in the shape of a large animal.
‘A cow could fit a person. So a cow is one of the options. That means we’d be using a cow indeed,’ Jansen told Business Insider.
‘Or any other animal we can lay our hands on that fits a person.’

How can they not be using a pig?


#50

Everybody knows cats glide and hover better than pigs Bob!


#51

Pumpkin Cannon.

John Thompson can fire a gourd as far as a mile with his homemade cannon. Hundreds of people come by every October to see Thompson launch a few jack-o-lanterns into the next county.

If I had any mechanical aptitude whatsoever, I would love to build one of those and terrorize the next farm over.


#52

Haven’t you ever watched the annual Punkin’ Chunkin’ on Discovery Channel?

Apparently John Thompson hasn’t watched it either, if he thinks his is the only pumpkin-firing air cannon in the world:


#53

Captain Morgan will load a man into a cannon and fire his body from bar to bar in downtown Orlando

I can’t see any possible problems here. Explosives and alcohol…what’s not to like?


#54

To help promote their new shot innovation Captain Morgan Cannon Blast, Captain Morgan has enlisted world famous human cannonball Brian Miser (aka The Human Fuse), a man who claims to have been fired from a cannon more than 6,500 times and holds the world record for “the only human to ever be shot into the air while on fire.”

I suspect lots of humans have been shot into the air on fire. He may be the only one to have made a profession out of it.


#55

Google Will Start Using A.I. To Automatically Generate Email Responses

The system generates three possible responses for each email, ranging from three to six words; simply pick the response that best fits your intended message and tone, and hit send.

No, honey, it wasn’t me that replied “Who are you?” to that email. Must have been Google!


#56

Dubai firefighters to use jetpacks

Awesome if it works out, certainly. But I can just see the headlines when one of these runs into the building, or worse drops 3000 feet and starts another fire on the ground.


#57

Um… well that’s one way of doing things.

Are they supposed to carry a hose or just hover around? I could see the pressure from a hose leading to some pretty spectacular fatalities. But other than carry a hose what could they do? Look at a burning skyscraper and assert that it is, in fact, on fire? Wave to the people inside and then shrug when they try to jump to you? Get in close to try to save them and then be smashed to bits by thermals?

Also that dude. Tell me he’s just a guy that builds jet packs and has nothing to do with firefighting. Nothing about anything he is wearing says “I want to be within 100’ of anything larger than a candle.”


#58

I don’t trust them banks, I’ll store my money safely underground.

Poor Wu Chen, 67, stashed the cash in a carrier bag five years ago, feeling sure it would be safe.
But when he recently came to make a withdrawal he found that insects had been feasting on his funds and there wasn’t a lot left.

Definitely don’t use biodegradable bags.

Ironically his local bank - which he didn’t trust to hold his savings in the first place - has come to the rescue, swapping the notes that are in good enough condition for fresh ones.

Saved about 2/3 of it, so while not exactly a happy ending, at least it wasn’t a complete loss.


#59

Things that exist: flamethrowers, drones, turkeys. The next step is obvious.

The teenager this week posted a YouTube video showing him using a drone equipped to shoot flames to roast a turkey in a wooded area of his family’s backyard.
Police said they were looking into the matter, but the man’s father said the aerial turkey roast was carried out safely.

Video at that link, though it’s surprisingly uneventful. Which I suppose is what you want, if you’re going to shoot flames out of a flying machine.


#60

So I’ve seen drones with pellet guns, real guns and now a flamethrower. And people wonder why I want an anti-drone EMP gun.