A colleague has invited me to his wedding. Unfortunately he is a weasel and my wife dislikes him and I witnessed him (almost ) cheating on his soon to be wife.
He has invited me and my wife to his wedding to my surprise.
Two things preventing me from flat out refusing :
We have a lot of common workplace friends that will be at the wedding
We will be working together for the next twenty years quite possibly
Decisions, decisions … advice?
Wow, you’re really gonna hate the bachelor party.
My advice would be to just decline, although I think it’s funny that your working relationship is probably going to last longer than his marriage.
I’d go, eat a ton of free food, and drink as much as I could. There will hopefully be enough people there, so you probably won’t have to interact with him much.
Just go and deal with it. Go nuts on whatever catered food he has to make it worth your while, and hang out with your actual work friends. If possible, arrange it so you (and your wife) don’t have to drive so you can drink a lot.
That’s what I’d do!
Go. It’s not worth snubbing him, and it’s not like it’ll cost you much. You’ll have fun.
Suck it up, buy him the cheapest thing you can find on their wedding gift registry, and have fun.
Put all your effort into seducing his future bride! If he ever gives you trouble at work, you’ll at least have a good comeback.
Wait, just kidding!
DrDel,
Don’t go. Why put yourself in a horrible situation that will last hours? Make up some excuse and tell him you cannot go, that you already have plans. When you see him next at work, give him a little present and card.
Snubbing weasels is its own reward.
Why not go? Hang out with your wife and co-workers you like. I’ve been to plenty of weddings of people I really like and barely saw them at all the whole time, and we were trying to see one another. You probably won’t have to deal with him for more than five minutes, if that.
What horrible situation is that?
Avoid the bachelor party, but a wedding has zero to do with actually interacting with the couple. They’re too busy with ritual to notice you (or anyone else). If he invited you to be in the actual wedding party, that would be a whole different story.
Hang out with your friends. Do some dancing. Have fun.
The wedding. I’m not a fan of attending them. If DrDel doesn’t mind going to weddings though, then go. If he/she doesn’t like them, then don’t go. I don’t think it will make a whole lot of difference either way. People skip these things all the time.
True, but weasels have power in the workplace all the time. Life is strange that way.
Throw a counter-party the same day at the same time, invite all of the same people and obstinately claim that you and your wife have been planning it for months.
Of course. Most of us have power in the workplace. If the weasel were his superior, then by all means he should go. If he’s just a slimy peer, then they have roughly equal power, and setting up the boundaries of the relationship early is probably healthier than “sucking it up”, to use the phrase of an earlier poster.
I can’t see how this is a big deal. Either spend the 2 minutes to come up with a plausible excuse, or go and enjoy it.
Don’t go if you don’t want to go. It’s not like you have to say “fuck you, I hate you and your wedding!” Just say you have other plans that you can’t change.
Responses like this one are why I am so glad Raife didn’t get banned.
I would just like to add to the OP that he should by all means suduce the wife. If you’re not up to it, just hire someone who can!
Go and eat and drink for free and console yourself with the knowledge that you and your wife have probably cost him over $100. Weddings are pricy!