What do you get when you cross Buffy and Bayonetta? Not Lollipop Chainsaw.

Hell, I've posted about fifteen times, so suck on that and whatnot.

And not being serious is not an indication that a game is bad. It's not rocket-science, dude.

Says the guy who so clearly lacks any meaningful stimulation in his life that he takes pleasure from the shit-storm that vague, uninformative reviews cause. Then again, any douche-nozzle who could generalize perfectly valid criticism as that sort of bitching is clearly not playing with a full deck, so there you have it. .

"A review isn't a checklist. It's someone articulating his experience with a movie, a book, a videogame, what have you."

It is that, as long as you don't attach a score to the end of it, in which case you have a responsibility to take at least a little time to elaborate on why you felt that the game actually deserved it.

The reason for that is that game reviews are the most needlessly inflated reviews of any form of criticism. Probably because game critics are in general the least talented writers of any form of criticism.

There's no other industry where three stars out of five means "Don't spend any money at all," nor where two means, "this work of art is somehow literally defective." In every other medium, one star means, "I hated this," not, "I couldn't see the movie/I couldn't read the words on the page." The problem is with your expectations and with gaming reviewers, not with one-star reviews.

And good god, how much do you fundamentally misunderstand the individual nature of criticism as to call a person's appraisal "unfair"? Are you guys really that pissy that it's ruining your precious Metascore?

You are a terrible reviewer that gave this game such an obscenely low score solely to get pageviews.

This low of a score is for games that are broken and buggy and nearly unplayable, not just for games that you dislike.

Scores stand for whatever the reviewer says they stand for. And Tom has been clear that he will be using the whole scale. Deal.

Heh, I figured sooner or later having Tom's reviews translated to Metacritic scores would cause this kind of reaction. Didn't expect it to be over such an obviously bad game though.

FYI haters, we don't care about your formulaic preconceptions of what a review should be.

It's somehow difficult to take this guy's /gal's reviews serious...
Only found this review randomly on meteoritic because... well... it's pretty much the only negative review so far...
Asking myself what could be bad about the beloved happy-splatter style, I had a look at this review to get a look about, what might be bad about it...
But all I found was a: I tried the game for a few minutes and didn't give it a real chance...
Seeing the date of the review (12th June), I even wonder if this is an actual review or just some trolling ^.^ Who would someone buy a game the day of it's release at full retail price, when already rating its predecessor (shadows of the damed) a 2 out of 5 and then rate the game bad for random facts that are already obvious by it's cover...
-> a cheesecake + gore combo.. who would have thought such could happen when the cover shows a cheerleader with a pink chainsaw, zombies and a floating head of a guy connected to a belt.....
That's like being lactose intolerant, buying a milkshake and complaining about the belly aches...

So, to rate this review:
- it doesn't stay to the facts, only gives a short opinion while giving a bad rating because of facts that were clearly the main aim of the game....
- All three sections of the review contain pretty much the same statement just using different phrasing
- Must have had a biased view. How else can a +10h game be reviewed within the day of it's release

all in all a 0 out of 10

An opinion about why the author of the review is- quite sanctimoniously so, if I might add- unhappy about the concept of the game and how he liked Killer 7 better. Which I couldn't care less about. If I read a review, I expect to get info on the GAME, how it works, how it plays, how it feels. With arguments I can or can not relate to, but that are presented and justified with your actual experience of the game.

I want reviewers to tell me about the aspects of the game I'm not aware off. I don't need some self-proclaimed authority to tell what I shoud think of the game BEFORE I start playing it. The world has plenty of fundamentalists and fanatics already, and frankly, most of them have better publicists than Mr. Chick here.

Sir, you have become a victim of the Demagogic Zombie Apocalypse. Please remain calm and proceed to the nearest higher education institution, where you would will be properly detoxified. Or at least, thrwon peanuts at.

Lol, link bait.

After reading all the crap reviews for Brutal Legend I stayed well clear until I picked it up from the bargain bin. I have not looked back.

Consider this a day one purchase.

Its FUN:) longer than the other 60million dollar games out there and is FUN:) Did I mention FUN.

Wow. Did you come up with that crude attempt at sarcasm on your own, or did someone write it up for you?

Well, so, my thoughts on the game after finishing...

As a parody/collection of clichés, references and winks to the horror genre: delivers, and it's fun in his own way.

As a game: Sucks balls.

That doesn't change the fact that Tom's review was totally unhelpful and shaped by bias, coupled by a sanctimonious attitude in the comments, probably due to the legions of fanboys that think that giving an oppinion against the "mainstream" is hip, brave and cool, notwithstanding the fact that that oppinion is poorly written and ellaborated upon.

So, even though I think the game does deserve a low score, I think I'll take my leave from here and look for a place with reviewers that have a more developed sense of profesionality.

Seriously. Typical COD fan. Spell right, btw. A fifth of your comment was spelling mistakes. Don't get me wrong, COD is a decent game, but I don't mind other games. P.S, Tom Chick, or whatever your name is, post a decent review, say, maybe more than the length of my 7 year old sister's book review. That at least had proper reasons to why she didn't like it.

I'm really starting to hate this guy. I find out about him through this, and then learn that he did this to Journey as well. It's honestly almost funny to look at the Metacritic page of Journey.
Eurogamer: "An amazing journey"
Escapist: "It will be meaningful to you"
Quarter to Three: "Deserts don't work without dune buggies"

And this is pretty much the same story. Honest review, honest review, Quarter to Three. It's the odd one out every time.

Shame on me for thinking a review should be complete before posting. But that's just my "formulaic preconception".

Hey by the way I bought you a car. It has no engine, and half the frame is missing. Regardless, don't mouth off to me just because it doesn't fit what you THINK a car should be. Selfish jerk.

It took you five whole days to come up with that?

From what I've seen here, you're not in a position to critique the writing of others. Since you missed the point, I'll spell it out for you: my comment was not an attempt at sarcasm. What do you think the phrase "[i]'m fatally unimpressed" actually means? It's not a colloquialism, and only has meaning when interpreted literally. The literal interpretation would be that you were unimpressed by this review to an extent that proved fatal. Literalism =/= sarcasm.

Wait, wait, wait... You're basing the entirety of your opinion on this game, through its marketing? Are you serious? Totally serious?

That is, single handedly, most ignorant statement out of someone's mouth that I will ever hear. Key phrase here is that YOU haven't played it, neither has he but neither have you. You can't make a valid opinion about this.

Plus have you ever stopped to think for 5 seconds that Suda, I dunno, planned this? Like this is supposed to be a tongue in cheek joke, like No More Heroes?

In the future when you feel the need to tell the word your thoughts, use your time more wisely by covering your hands in barbeque sauce and bacon bits and feed your hands to wolves.

This review is so bad, it's hard to believe.....
Having an own opinion is all right and something important. But a review shouldn't be thaaat biased. It's not bayonetta and it's also not buffy, I get it......
The game is meant to be a weird + goofy joy-ride killing spree, as most Suda51 games are and that's what it is. It's very much arcade style in any possible way.
Happy happy Joy Joy meats Splatterhouse

!!!!
What I really hate is, that a review quality as bad as this one managed to be sneak into websites like metacritis, lowering the all-together score a lot without any actual reason.
Which also has a direct influence on sales numbers and thus, hinders the possibility of another game of this kind ever to be published.

It's such reviews that destroyed already many good games chances on the market which weren't totally main stream. This is no Diablo III, Final Fantasy or Need for Speed.... it's something different....