Yes, everyone must conform to the aggregate consensus. Especially since these sites are not in any way heavily dependent on the publishers and rabid fans, no sir. They certainly don't grade games based on their perceived accessibility and marketability either, just doesn't happen. I'm glad we have such a robust game press to inform us.
Uh oh, metacritic rape means some wont be
getting bonus checks now.
The holy commandants. LOL
Can I just ask; what the hell does your second paragraph mean?
Shut the fuck up. You haven't even played it.
That is the fault of the industry not the reviewer. If Tom believes that the score is justified he should publish that score.
Apparently the standards for 1 star have risen. I always assumed it was for a game that was fundamentally broken or unplayable. Not one you just didn't like and couldn't bother to throw together a full review for.
As I said above me shitty industry practices shouldn't affect criticism. This is a review not a press release.
This sounds exactly like The Darkness 2! Bad story, over the top violence and extremely shallow and repetitive....but wait, you gave The Darkness 2 a 5/5! I would take this review much more seriously if you actually wrote an in depth review and not 4 tiny paragraphs mostly complaining about its strange humour that you didn't enjoy. How your blog ended up on Metacritic I have no idea.
Apparently the reviewer has never heard of a B movie. nor do i believe they actually played the game. 4 out of 5 easy. and what's with comparing everything to bayonetta. this site called Shadows of the damned a bayonetta wannabe. nothing alike.
Wow, just, wow. Never heard of this site or the reviewer and linked here due to the low rating on metacritic and I am in shock, after reading this review, on how you can't even affect on score there. This is a piss poor review where you compare it to Bayonetta. How in the hell can you compare? What did you compare Shadows of the Damned to? RE5? Since you didn't go into hardly any detail with your review, then I am not going to take the time to explain why you are a dick and just leave it at that. You dick.
And writing this on a damn iPad sucks ass
Somehow I doubt the angry internet squad would be appeased if I wrote a ten paragraph review. However, I'm happy to answer any questions about the game if anyone wants more specifics.
Let's see, six levels, about five hours of gameplay, earn coins to buy new moves, light stun attack and heavy damage attack, dodge button, spend medals to unlock skins and concept art, replay levels for high scores on leaderboards, achievements, bad animation. I suppose I could have stretched that stuff out into several paragraphs, but I don't really see the point.
Seriously, though, I'm happy to answer any questions.
why are you a stupid asshole?
Awesome, thanks for the insightful and intelligent response, kid.
I'm smart enough to gauge where this game is heading based on the wealth of marketing available for it. I'm also smart enough to know that it's the kind of game that fanboys and bloggers will pitch a shitfit over if someone doesn't bend over backwards to laud how brilliant and clever it all is.
It's a crude-looking, sleazy game filled with moronic pop culture cues and showboating references to obscurites like Fulci films. It's marketed for the "bewbs and 'dew" crowd, which I am not a part of.
So tell me why I _should_ play this trash?
Oh that's right...you've not played it either. You can't.
Agreed - but I also see no justification for a review score that low in the review. Neither do I see it from any of the youtube videos I've watched or other reviews I have read. The game is not technically broken. It is playable - therefore it can safely be reviewed based on its subjective merits. That doesn't appear to have been done here.
How are the graphics? How about the sound? Controls? Important things like that should be talked about.
I've Played it, it's great.
"You broke the first rule of the holy commandants. "THOU SHALL NOT COMPARE WORKS WITH EACH OTHER"."
Which is one of the fundamental functions of criticism in ALL media. Yeah Tom, don't do that. Keep it to a feature list, talk about each mode, mention the graphics, and then give a softball "rox" or "sux" opinion.
This guy probably also wants to read "objective" reviews...
Sounds like you gave a bad review on a game that you felt burned by. My biggest complaint with most games is length. Getting 5 hours out of a game that I just dropped 60bucks on does burn my ass sometimes. Homefront was the worst. I won't fault you there. but you gotta admit; your review was pretty piss poor.