What every little girl wants

“Gee, this is cool, Mr. Soldier! Can I blow up incompetent DEA guys with it?”

“Hell yes, Sweetheart! In fact, I’m almost sure the US Government wants you to.”

“Wow, this stinger missile is NEATO! It’s TOTALLY worth the government buying instead of sending me to college!”

If this was the congo, I would be banging you for a buck. But its not, so here, play with this expensive piece of equipment and I will pretend I don’t want to have sex with you.

Hmm. Okay, maybe we should go back to videos of policemen shooting themselves in the feet.


Thanks! This is the coolest port of Duck Hunt EVER!

SOLDIER: “Okay, Miss, now look through the sight and–”
GIRL: “Um, EXCUSE me, I HAVE played Grand Theft Auto. I THINK I know what I’m doing. GOD.”


Shelly Smith receives her prize for her award-winning grade school essay “My School Was Overrun by Anne Coulter Zombies.”

“Mommy, I made punk bitches suck it down!”

“I-I-I like it!”

Something about that obscured sign in the background and their expressions kind of make it look like the worst dunking booth ever devised. One shot, $5. Guaranteed to hit something or other.

That cop shooting himself in the foot also makes me wonder if it’d have been better to not have that cap on the front there so you could see clear through the tube.


“Jumpin Jihad! Time to take out some infidel flying machines!”

awesome. :-)

“Yeah sure it’s safe, i’ve already had someone check it for me. Just point it at the ground and pull the trigger”

Rocket jump!

The last thing the world needs… another rocket whore.

Oh boy, that was lame. And just wrong. On so many levels.

“Hey Mom–stand still for a moment!”

It’s actually a promo photo for the movie ‘Little Red Riding Hood 2005’.
‘Let go of Grandma, bitch!’

“It’s comin’ right for us!”

I can’t wait for the backlash against training children to use weapons because it encourages them to play more violent video games.

I promise to never, ever complain about little girls toting rocket launchers. In fact, I find the idea so heartwarming that I think they should all get one, as a sort of right of passage or something.