Man Attacks His Lawyer in Court with Feces
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It was a transparent attempt to get a new trial and a new attorney. It worked. Why shouldn’t every public defender client unhappy with the attorney that they drew try the same thing?
You’re asking a disturbingly good question, there, Flowers.
Wait. Aren’t you an attorney?
I say we do it to all lawyers regardless.
Not only am I an attorney. I take public defender appointments.
Public defenders don’t get paid enough.
We don’t. I get paid less per hour than they paid fifteen years ago. In my state, the contract rate for video editors is two and a half times what I am paid. I can also edit videos, I told them, but that did not help.
Not cool.
Yep, used to be $50 an hour, now it’s $40. Then I get to run an office and maintain insurance and licensing on that! Don’t worry, the let me pay taxes after.
Also, District Attorneys think they are hot shit compared to me, because they think they provide some important service, even though, every time I win and keep someone out of prison, I save the government tens of thousands of dollars. Christ, a fucking monkey could convict most of those people, and a labradoodle could get them the death penalty, and we don’t even have that in Wisconsin.
Oh, but don’t cry too much for me, on Saturday I totally snagged an awesome domain name for my burgeoning OWI specialty.
Is that Operating a vehicle While Intoxicated?
That’s DUI.
DUI is soooooo out of fashion. It has been called DWI for years here in the South. Driving While Intoxicated sounds more educated than Driving Under the Influence. Wisconsin has upped the ante by going all English Major with OPERATING WHILE INTOXICATED. Damn Wisconsin, always a step ahead.
Driving Under the Influence of my screeching hag of a backseat driver wife.
Doesn’t “operating while intoxicated” pretty much cover anything you can do while not unconscious? Are they preparing new laws against shopping, walking, singing etc. while intoxicated?
But feces. I’ll have to remember that one, since I always carry a bag of dog poo for just such incidents. You never know when you’ll get a crappy lawyer!
If you’re the one flinging the poo, whether or not your lawyer is crappy is entirely under your control.
There is the old BUI (Boating Under the Influence). My son in the USCG handed out a few BUI tickets when he was stationed here over the summer. I wonder if flying under the influence (FUI) is a crime? Who would hand out the tickets?
Can’t the Public Defender charge these shit tossers with something?
Oh, wait. To do that would be to risk an endless loop of shit tossing, as the defendent would then need another public defender to defend him from his original shit tossing crime.
Talk about what comes around goes around.
Don’t leave us hanging. Lay it on us.
Yeah - we promise not to report you for VM’ing.