I feel for you, truly. Israel is a special idea, even for American Jews who never go there or only visit. Yet the reality is something a lot different than we imagined it when we were young. I used to be an avid reader of anything about the IDF, Israel’s wars, movies and books like Exodus, all that. I watched, horrified, when the murders occurred during the Munich Olympics, and cheered when a few years later Israel pulled off the Entebbe raid. I vividly remember the period of time when it seemed that hardly a month went by without some heinous act of terror against Israel.
Of course, I didn’t know much about Israel, really, only the idea and the public façade. Over the years, as I got a graduate degree or two, the first being in Foreign Affairs focusing on the Middle East, I began to question a lot of what I had been told. I took Arabic from, among others, a Palestinian and a Jordanian. I had Muslim friends, and I eventually visited Jerusalem, as well as Jordan. In Jordan I visited Palestinian so-called camps, really makeshift cities, where kids threw rocks at me because, as an American, I represented to them the reason they were in that place, attending the ramshackle school I visited and going to the nearly destitute clinic I stopped by. And in Israel, at least the parts I visited, all on the West Bank or in Jerusalem, I saw the settlements, the walls, the guards. I waited in East Jerusalem for nearly an hour for a doctor, a Palestinian, to get passed through check points to attend to a colleague who was very ill, though the doctor could have been their in minutes if he hadn’t been, well, Palestinian.
The rabbi who I was closest to here retired a few years ago. He initially wanted to retire to Israel, maybe on a kibbutz. After doing research into things, he gave up on that idea. Not just because of practicalities, but because, I think, that for a guy who had been a sixties social activist, and who after retirement was still getting arrested at BLM rallies and the like, Israel seemed like, well, more like Mizraim than Canaan.