What's the deal with handkerchiefs?

I know they are a supposed symbol of a more refined time. The handkerchief in the outer breast pocket of your suit or tux. Lending one to a lady who is distressed. Is it not the most disgusting thing we still do and is accepted in today’s society?

Bodily excretions expelled into a cloth and then carried around only to re-use that cloth. If there were no public trash cans or Kleenex was found to be a health hazard by the government, I could still see a use for them, but damn. Every time I see someone use one I fixate on the hidden results of said blowing and what chemical process goes on one’s pocket as a result. Also, I know a similair occurence is looming and I hope I am not around to watch the unfolding and refolding of the 3rd, 4th, or even 5th time.

Please do your part to stop this accepted practice which is, in my view, a more disgusting practice than procuring hookers, smoking cigarrettes, chewing tobacco, and playing videogames…all at once.

Nowadays, handkerchiefs are primarily used by homosexual code talkers.

I love my hankie you insensitive lout!

You just have to learn to wear it on your head, like Willie Nelson.

If there is ever chemical warfare in your neighborhood, use it as a poor man’s gas mask. Be ready!

If you realize an opportunity to hold up a bank, train, or stagecoach, you already have a mask!

I use a neckerchief, then again I’m a chef. don’t laugh.

Those uses are perfectly acceptable Tim, but I think you mean a bandana. Which can be used as a handkerchief in an emergency, but not as a handkerchief and one of the above during the same time period…one would hope.

Jason…Ha!Ha! If you had said the magic word, I would not have laughed.

No, I think body (and ear) pierciing is the most disgusting, barbaric practice common in modern society.

But handkerchief are certainly nasty.

Now Denny, do you mean multiple piercings of the nasal, eyebrow, stomach, cheek, lip, belly-button and genital variety or piercing as a whole?

I heard that multiple body piercing are OK as long as you don’t connect them all with a chain.

Usually I’ll go to a public bathroom stall and I’ll blow my load all over my hankie. Then I’ll tuck it back into my left shirt pocket and I’ll reuse it to blow snot and to wipe my ass when I run out of toilet paper!

OH… I get lots of uses for my hankie.

:D

Nowadays, handkerchiefs are primarily used by homosexual code talkers.

And how exactly do you know about this?

Research for a book he is writing I would wager. Handkerchiefs and Hand Jobs: The Story the Advocate Did Not Want Told

Sheesh. A proper lady has to carry a pristine handkerchief. What if you need to challenge someone to a duel? You drop the hankie in front of the ingrate instead of slapping him in the face with a glove (no one wears gloves any more). What if you’re sitting at a red light and a handsome knight comes trotting up in the next lane, asking for a token that he can take into battle? Are you going to hand him half a roll of linty butterscotch Lifesavers from the bottom of your purse, or your car registration? What if you get bitten by a gila monster or small ill-mannered child and need to fashion a tourniquet? What if your plane crashes, stranding you on a mountaintop in the Andes? You’ll have to make tea, and you most certainly won’t have a strainer. Entrez le hankie.

What, were you all raised in a barn?

Sheesh. A proper lady has to carry a pristine handkerchief. What if you need to challenge someone to a duel? You drop the hankie in front of the ingrate instead of slapping him in the face with a glove (no one wears gloves any more)…

Sparky, is it possible you are a Robert Heinlein character visiting from an alternate Ficton where people are actually cool like that?

You sure you’re not thinking of a bandana? It’s an easy mistake to make.

A bandana is what Axl Rose wears around what’s left of his hair. A hankie is what ladies and gentlemen use to wipe their noses, in lieu of their sleeves. I sit by candlelight, Jane Austen-style, and painstakingly embroider mine with my little flowers and endearing Met K quotes (tried doing a Brian Koontz one, but the hankie was too small. It makes for a lovely tablecloth, though).

Sparky is sugarcoating her actual use of handkerchiefs. The actual story is much more exciting.

She wears asilky pink one around her neck which she removes with a dainty flourish, raises it and her arms high into the air, and then brings them toward the asphalt with mighty strokes. The kitted out Honda CRXs and Acura Integras then barrel down the local quarter mile and another night of street racing is in the books in Custer’s Tibia.

“They Came From the Farm”

A new game about cussin’ fightin’ hicks and hillbillies that try to destroy as much of the big city as possible.

Damn city-dwellers.

This is a little bit off-topic, but Tyjenks, what the hell motivated the creation of this thread???

I bet he just wanted a topic that would pull the board together. Ok, group hug everyone!

I’m awaiting the follow-up threads “Spats - what the hell are they good for?”, “Who really wears a pince-nez anyway?” and “Why can’t you get a decent codpiece that fits anymore?”.