When do you break it to a girl that you're a dork?

You didn’t hide all that shit first? Come on man, what are you, new?

Nope…just rusty…I think the fog machine for Rock Band was a particularly tough blow.

I lol’d. And I am being totally serious.

Dude, try telling pretty much anyone that you have a degree in mathematics. They’ll pray they had met someone who had such a mild affliction as gaming.

One time my wife had over one of her friends from the local university and she brought her corporate husband to our apartment and I had my full on joystick, throttle, two of these programmable doodads that were supposed to double as MFDs and a big map of Korea on the wall. The corporate dude looked over the desk and gear and (thankfully) didn’t say anything. When I would play flight sims my wife would walk past as I was in the middle of a dog fight and say with great alarm, “You’re leaning!” as if I were about to fall out of the chair or something. I was like “Woman. I’m dogfightin’. Leave me alone.”

I’ve found that even non-gamer chicks dig the fog machine and light show in RB2 ;)

She already knows.

When I was dating my wife, I had a 2 bedroom apartment and I kept all of my geek stink pretty much contained to the second bedroom (the office). I showed her the room after telling her what I did for a living and she was totally accepting of it all.

It’s not so much that women have a problem with games/nerds, it’s that they fear you’ll be spending all of your time doing that stuff and not with them. If you reassure her that you’re not a “come home from work, scarf down dinner while standing over the kitchen sink, play games all night” kind of guy, you’ll be fine IMO.

If you ARE that kind of guy, well, best of luck. :)

If you’re not actually a shut-in and just like playing games in addition to all the healthy real-life stuff you presumably do, then what’s to worry about? There’s got to be a bit of leeway for people to indulge what they want to do so long as it doesn’t hurt anyone.

Oh, and if I had a fog machine that thing would never be turned off. Low-level fog makes anything look like a 90s TV serial, and who doesn’t love that?

Oh, yeah, before I forget - it’s a two way street. If she can’t accept that you play games, at all, it’s time to break up. You have to be able to accept your SO’s hobbies and interests, as is, for the relationship to work.

Hey! I resemble that remark!

Maybe the pile of gaming gear in full view isn’t the best idea. But so long as you really aren’t an obsessed gamer that would rather be working through your backlog of games than going out with her, then you should be able to arrive at some sort of accomodation for your gaming.

Me too.

Hey, if a woman can’t handle a man who has a little STAGECRAFT with his dorkitude…

At least you had a shoebox in the middle of the road! You were lucky!

Try telling the artsy liberal girl that you’re also pretty liberal, half a Buddhist, but have a basement full of guns and go through 15,000 rounds a year in practice.


You can’t sugarcoat it. Go as hard as you can. For example, this picture is from the pub meetup where I took Angie on our first date:

Actually, our first date was to go see the Dungeons and Dragons movie, after which she wanted to talk about RPGs and this one CRPG that she couldn’t remember the name of which turned out to be SSI’s Alien Logic: The Skyrealms of Jorune. Therefore I have no actual good advice, just amazing luck.

If that is really her attitude then it is probably not worth pursuing the relationship. Seriously.

Take it from a guy that MARRIED a woman with that attitude. While we’ve been married 15 years now, I’ve spent the entire time in a struggle to get her to accept my hobby. Anytime she was pissed off about anything, gaming was an immediate scapegoat she could throw out there. Forget that I spend less time and way less money on gaming than other guys do on shit like golf, or that I am a good father who refuses to spend time playing video games when I could be spending time with my kids instead (unless they want to play games with me of course). No, I could be husband/father of the year and that one hour at night I spend from 10:00-11:00pm on the PC unwinding with a video game will always be a huge character flaw and a social embarassment as far as she’s concerned.

A relationship in which something that is important to one party is ridiculed and derided by the other party is not a healthy relationship.

And here I thought Universal Studios was the only place with cardboard-cut-outs-of-the-stars for people to pose with. Fucking gaming royalty.

Word. I married a woman who named her clothing store after a character from Sandman, so luckily it wasn’t an issue.

Thinking back, though, it wasn’t ever really an issue anyway. I tend to project my geekitude pretty strongly, so it’s not like it came as a huge surprise that I was also a gamer. I had a few relationships with girls where they were shocked I read comics, but that was usually fixed by giving them something awesome to read.

Derek sure does love the duck face.

Yup. Nobody should ever even have the title of this thread cross their mind, because she already knows. She knew right away. Well, if she’s particularly slow, she might not have known until the first second she walked into your house, but most likely she knew on the first date. Maybe she saw you playing your gameboy outside of the restaurant while you waited for her. Maybe she caught a glimpse of your Magic card art cell phone wallpaper. Maybe you met on IRC. Regardless, she knows.

So don’t sweat it.

5 years ago I asked my new girlfriend if she wanted to sit in on a D&D game with me and my friends. She now plays a cleric in the current campaign I’m running. Next week we’re getting married.

Moral of this story: Just be yourself, and don’t be ashamed of it. If she’s the right one it will work out.