White Smoke Means New Pope!

That was fast!

Snarky comment.

Bookies everywhere are salivating.

The ringing of St. Peter’s Bell is cool, but apparently that’s not an infrequent thing making it less cool.

Nothing says Christian like flamberges.

To the pope mobile, boy wonder!

… and automatic rifles…

Here we go…


Argentine Pope.

76 years old. And the first Jesuit Pope. Ever.

Jorge Mario Bergoglio, now known as Francis I.

Suck it, African cardinals! In yo’ face!

I heard Jorge likes to party.

Huh. Some of the cardinals were talking about wanting a younger and more vigorous pope this time. Old and decrepit wins again!

Does a bear crap in the woods? Is the pope Argentinian?

Oh shit, this will change everything! Or not…

Not just old. As CNN says:

Bergoglio is considered a straight-shooter who calls things as he sees them, and a follower of the church’s most conservative wing. He has clashed with the government of President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner over his opposition to gay marriage and free distribution of contraceptives.

So, don’t hope for any significant changes in Catholicism during his papacy.

So what was his stance on sex with young boys.

I mean really. This guy seems to be of the old cloth and designed to keep the church going in the same direction.