Who do you write like?

Don’t ask your friends, let technology tell you about your writing style:


Apparently I write like William Gibson, and I’m okay with that.


Well, after 3 tries I’m Arthur C Clarke, Dan Brown, and Nabokov. I call bullshit.

My wife showed me this recently, and like John Reynolds I got a different result for each submission.

By the way, HP Lovecraft writes like Ursula K Le Guin.

First try got H. P. Lovecraft.

Second try got Dan freaking Brown.

Third try got … Dan Brown.

Fourth try got Harry Harrison.

Fifth and last time got William Shakespeare. LOL

Never read a word by Brown or Lovecraft either. I too call bullshit. As far as I can tell they’re just picking random authors from a list.

Submitted 8 blog posts. All 8: David Foster Wallace.

There’s a whole lotta bullshit goin’ on there.

I got David Foster Wallace too, which is easily the nicest thing the internet has ever said about me.

Chuck Palahniuk

Awesome. I put in a couple of blog posts, so now I’m:

  1. William Gibson
  2. J.D. Salinger
  3. Stephen King

I think this might be the most accurate internet tool, ever.


I think it’s a (fake) gimmick meant to draw people to the ads after the analysis.

It must just look for specific keywords or phrases and assign them to authors. Enough uses of the word “cyber” and “internet,” you get Gibson, etc.

I got Dan Brown 3 times. FML.

Maybe, but my Gibson text was prose, a shootout scene I wrote for the book I’ll never write. The Salinger was a blog post on Top Shot, the King was a blog post on a trigger job I did.

Fascinating, Captain Kirk.


Snippets of Mein Kampf result in…Dan Brown.


Was bored and tossed in:

That floats on high o’er vales and hills,

When all at once I saw a crowd,

A host, of golden daffodils;

Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

It was tagged as Tolkien. So I figured I’d see if I could get it to recognize the actual authors it’s using.

When I tried the paragraph where Winston Smith gets dragged to room 101 and it correctly identified it as Orwell. I tried another paragraph at random from 1984 and it worked as well. Sadly, the second paragraph from “Shooting An Elephant” was evidently written by Chuck Palahniuk

Milton was tagged as Shakespeare and Beowulf was thought to be written by Robert Louis Stevenson.

The first stanza of the Rape of the Lock by Pope was Lovecraftian as was Grey’s Elegy.

I used a lorem ipsum generator and got David Foster Wallace as the result.

I split up a life story I had written for a fictional character as part of a writing exercise. The most easily accessible bit of fiction I had on hand. Broke it into eight parts.

Five David Foster Wallaces. One Vladimir Nabokov. One Stephen King. One Stephanie Meyer.

Sooooo… fuck this thing.

Edit: Pasted in the entire script from the Soup Nazi episode of Seinfeld. Stephen King apparently wrote it. Who knew?

David Foster Wallace is a whore. He’s been the most frequent result I’ve gotten.

I wrote a few paragraphs of bitter, hard-boiled style prose, and it told me I write like Stephen King.

Then I wrote “Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…” (repeat ad nauseam) and it told me I wrote like William Shakespeare.

Now this:

This is an example of just writing blather. I’m not shoocasdh;aslkjsadf;lshdavldhslfvnmz,x.NKSedfylaskjhckbn.kjcxzHK:cyoasudhfkjnbl,JZXHCoiudshafrljafslfksadvehslnrygoiasudofni ydfoivsfadj hfhasd jhnlks dlfksl f, asdf ., asdfsad fhasdlfkuhsdf hkjxzcbklfsohdiewauhfkjlsfhdeoabho ZHkhdk hsabyiuadyiua ybiASUD BOIYAOSID ,ASD

Gets me this result:

I write like
Kurt Vonnegut

Koontz also writes like Kurt Vonnegut. I don’t think there are too many answers to this quiz.