Why Burger King sucks

Despite feeling that the current Burger King add campaign (Whopper Freakout) is stupid, I decided to go to my local spot tonight for dinner. Imagine my surprise when after making my order I was informed that “we are out of Whopper meat.” So, I went elsewhere.

Sadly, this is not the first time in recent months that local fast food restaurants have managed to be out of their signature base product. I never thought, for example, that a Taco Bell would be out of hamburger (or their version of that, anyway.)

I decided to contact Burger King to express my annoyance. It turns out you can’t contact Burger King by email.

And that’s why Burger King sucks.

That’s funny. Their campaign’s all about how crazy it would be if they didn’t have whoppers and then you go and they don’t have any whoppers! At least they didn’t try and trick you with a big mac.

“Whopper meat” sounds awfully generic. I wonder if it comes in a big bag.

If they had, he might have ended up on tv. Now he’s just shit out of whopper with nowhere to turn.

This is how existential crises start.

Calling it “whopper meat” doesn’t exactly add to it’s appeal. I have visions of something extruded from machines in a factory.

Burger King is what it is: another cheap hamburger joint. The hamburgers, weak as they are, are by far the most wholesome part of the menu (well, except perhaps salads). Fries and sugary drinks will make you fat.

It was amazing how often the Arby’s near campus was out of roast beef when I was at Clemson. They’re Arby’s. They have exactly one thing to get right, and they screw it up.

Seriously … why aren’t you going to Hardee’s? Having one of their Thickburgers is like a first class ticket to both heaven and heart disease. It’s fucking awesome.

I found that whenever my local Arby’s as a college kid in Lawrence was out of roast beef, they’d also be out of the stuff to make milkshakes.

That always creeped me out.

HAHAHAHAHAHA Are you fucking serious?

Dear Mr King,

Tonight I was greatly disatisfied when I attended one of your fine restaraunts only to find that you were out of whopper meat. Instead I was forced to go to make my own dinner which consisted of a large tub of lard and some salad in order to clog my already stressed arteries. Please ensure that next time I visit your store that you have plenty of whopper meat to eat.

With lots of love,

  • Sarkus.

The reality of the situation is that no fast food joint on the planet EVER has the material to actually make a milkshake – it’s only on there to ensure that you, the fast food purchaser, endures maximal suffering.

I may once have consumed a McDonald’s milkshake, but it was well before the times that I can remember clearly.

McD’s milkshakes aren’t too bad. They aren’t great but they aren’t bad.

— Alan

It sucks big time. It´s trash and I don´t understand how people can eat that stuff. But mostly in Honduras it sucks because of the way they treat their workers, such as sending a pregnant girl to manually scrub the drivethru under the blazing hot and 40 degrees (celcius) of a Tegucigalpa day, so she is forced to resign (instead of firing her and thus having to pay her more).

So yeah it sucks.

Burger King is better than McDonalds.

Hail to the King!

Has Wendy’s taken a dive since Dave died? I remember their big bacon classic being my favorite fast food burger, but I tried one last month and it was decidedly floppy and poor.

Then again, I haven’t really eaten fast food in four years, maybe I’m just too used to real food now.

You need to visit either Chick-fil-a (if you’re east coast), or In-n-Out Burger (if you’re west). If you’re in the midwest or Canada or something, then you’re doomed. DOOMED.

Omnivore’s Dilemma + Supersize Me = never eating fast food again.

In N Out is the only fast food I’ll eat. They’re clean and use good products, and hell even Thomas Keller (you know, that French Laundry guy) is a fan.

Thankfully, there are no In N Outs anywhere near where I live, so I only get to eat there once a year. :p

I used to work at Burger King in high school, so I’ve seen inside the sausage factory so to speak. But I still eat fast food pretty much every day (in moderate portions mind you) because I’m just not that worried about it. Yeah it may look gross to see a greasy teen with questionably clean hands making a burger but a lot of people commit worse sins food-safety wise in their own kitchen without blinking an eye or often even noticing.

Even Gordon Ramsey admits to a sometime craving for Burger king.

We mostly end up at McD because they have the best playground (yes, the kids make most of our decisions), but foodwise I prefer The King - the difference is meat grilled over a flame or meat injected with the flavour of grillflame (McD’s Big Tasty over here).