Why is it rude to tell people “None of your business”, when asked personal questions? Some folks act as if they’ve been offended somehow, others merely look confused and at a loss for words. It’s as if some people just don’t understand personal boundaries any more.
There might be a better, more diplomatic way to put it. “I’d prefer not to discuss that”? “Let’s talk about something else”? Something along those lines?
Just saying “None of your business” is pretty abrupt.
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
“none of your business” is abrupt, and sounds like you’re pissed off they even asked. That means they’ve already committed a faux pas without knowing, and then defensiveness kicks in. People react differently on the def.
I’ve always gone with, “I’m sorry, it’s a personal matter.”
I don’t think that it is. Sometimes ‘none of your business’ is just what is needed.
Would also accept:
None of your damn business.
None of your fucking business.
Alternatively, do this:
<snort> Yeah, it’s a tone thing, mostly. I find “I’d prefer not to answer that. Can we think about kittens instead?” to be surprisingly effective.
Same reason “fuck off” is a rude response.
Damn. I came here to write this.
I usually go with “Nunya”
to which my GF usually answers “I hate when you say that, idiot.”
It is? Damn.
To be fair to kerzain, there are people for whom there is no polite way to decline to offer personal info because they will be offended that you would choose to not share some personal details about your life with some nosy asshole who can’t wait to gossip to others about it.
Yeah, kinda. It’s been used exclusively as a hateful expression so there’s no way to use it in a friendly manner.
“I’m sorry, I don’t feel comfortable discussing that topic, and I hope I haven’t offended you, but I’ll kindly ask you to fuck off regarding that.”
That’s as Victorian as I can get but it still is offensive. As long as you are using the phrase or near-phrase “mind your own business” then you’re being offensive.
H.
Kerzain, as others have said, it’s an untactful, undiplomatic way to say that you’re not comfortable talking about something.
A better way to put it would simply be to say, “I don’t feel comfortable talking about that” or “That’s a personal matter” or “I’d rather not discuss it” and leave it at that.
Why not just change the subject? You can preface it with a meaningful look.
I’ve found if you just change the subject, the schmuck who asked the personal question in the first place will just keep pressing more often than not. Best to handle it directly.
I just give a meaninglessly vague answer and move on to other topics. Why even let them know that they’ve hit on something sensitive?
Or you could stonewall them - just stare at them with a withering look until they uncomfortably move on.
This. Protect the conversation from more tactlessness.