Wisdom and Aphorisms from President Trump: Great Leader, Great Teacher, Great Supreme Commander, Great Helmsman of our Nation


#20642

Yeah, I’m sure God was sitting around, thinking “Hmm, whom shall I choose to lead the USA in striking down the brown people? I need someone with reality TV experience and that can handle a porn star if the need arises. Also, they must be pretty sketchy in the faith department, but still able to discriminate against all those fake gods trying to squeeze me out.”


#20643

What kind of god would want Trump as President? A vengeful one, I guess. “Hey, instead of another flood I’ll get a horrible person elected to fuck up everything.”


#20644

#20645

My first thought when a coworker told me about this was “God wanted Trump to be president? What did we do to deserve such severe punishment?”


#20646

Well, the Bible does say that he wouldn’t use water again to punish us, he’d use fire the next time. Trump certainly likes to talk about nukes.


#20647

Rivers running red with blood… fiery hail… swarms of locusts… death of all firstborn… Trump presidency…

Yeah, the theory checks out.


#20648

A certain class of evangelical is in favor of electing the most evil person they can to POTUS because that will mean some idiotic Revelation prophecy about the antichrist (or rather some wacky allegorical monster they associate with the antichrist) is going to come true and they can ascend bodily to heaven instead of having to die first, which is good for reasons they can’t explain but think would be cool.


#20649

Because it specifically punishes the unbelievers by leaving them behind. That’s the win: they get proven right and us heathens can suck it.


#20650

Obligatory montage


#20651

Spot on

Damn, I loved that show. Or more to the point, those characters.

Oh, and another gem to contribute:


#20652

#20653

#20654

All Donny Jr.'s stupidity aside, I am so tired of these Republicans being preachy about abortion when you know they don’t give a damn.


#20655

Yeah, they’re fine with letting kids die 2 seconds after their born.
Or 2 years.
Or 16.


#20656

C’mon guys. He just thinks Savings & Loans do skits. Like this:

POOR PERSON: Hi, I’d like to get a loan please? I work for the government and they haven’t paid me in a month and I need to pay my rent. I’ll get back pay later, so I’m good for it.

LOAN OFFICER: Ha, hahaha, ha! A loan? We don’t give loans to POOR PEOPLE, only to Corporations! They are people, not like you!

POOR PERSON leaves

BANK VP: Wait, I just found out we can sell that poor persons loan to an aggregator and make lots of money! Even if they can’t pay it back! The aggregator will just take his house!

LOAN OFFICER runs after POOR PERSON


#20657

They give a damn when acquiring one suits them. Otherwise they don’t give a damn.


#20658

I guess it’s time to start replying to Junior with ‘you are going to prison’ too. So I did.


#20659

It’s even funnier when you remember the show has been on his entire life, and originates from the city he was born and lives in.


#20660

Hey, why not have Godfather’s Pizza guy Herman Cain on the Federal Board of Reserves. Best people after all:

cain…Cain…CAIN!


#20661

What makes you think they don’t actually give a damn?