And if some old dude promised me that he was going to take a big dump on my front porch and then rub his ass on my glass front door, and then walked on my porch and yanked down his pants, the first thing out of my mouth wouldn't be, "A promise keeper!"
I know we aren't arguing here. I just couldn't resist typing that little story.
Also, I'd like to read Trump's wedding vows. All of them.