About 30 minutes apart.
So Trump couldn’t remember the guy’s name and messed up some words on his phone call, at least he called, not like Obummer. And what about those rich spoiled NFL players STILL kneeling and disrespecting our soldiers and our flag?! Someone ought to fire those sonsofbitches.
Also, all that noise about Trump paying $430K in legal bills for WH staff…“It’s an ethics violation!”
Ethics…in 2017…that’s adorable!
Zero fucks McCain will always be the best of him.
The Onion once again at it.
https://twitter.com/KenTremendous/status/922464982062604288
(1/25): 1. All of this recent Trump stuff reminds me of the parable of the Scorpion and the Frog.
(2/25): 2. A Frog needs to cross a river. The Scorpion says, “Get on my back and I’ll take you across.”
(3/25): 3. The Frog says, “But what if you sting me?” The Scorpion says, “I won’t sting you, I promise.”
(4/25): 4. So the Frog gets on the Scorpion’s back and they start to swim across.
(5/25): 5. After a few seconds, the Scorpion says, “You know, Frogs are rapists, and murderers, and I’m gonna build a wall to keep you all out.”
(6/25): 6. Then he says, “This is what disabled Frogs are like,” and he makes a series of unpleasant gestures.
(7/25): 7. Then he says, “I grabbed a bunch of Frogs by the frog pussy, and I’m a star, so they let me do it.”
(8/25): 8. The Frog remained quiet, but he was getting a little, like, freaked out.
(9/25): 9. Then the Scorpion said, “John McCain isn’t a hero because he got captured,” and “STDs are my Vietnam,” and “I know more than generals.”
(10/25): 10. Then he said, “Obama wasn’t born in the U.S. and I have proof.” The Frog said “What is it?” but the Scorpion didn’t say.
(11/25): 11. Then the Scorpion’s whole family met withRussian oligarchs in secret. “That’s illegal,” said the Frog. “Fake news," said the Scorpion.
(12/25): 12. “But I’m literally watching it happen, right in front of me,” said the Frog. “The NFL players shouldn’t kneel!” said the Scorpion.
(13/25): 13. The Frog got confused because the subject had changed to NFL players kneeling. The Frog was pretty mentally fatigued, by this point.
(14/25): 14. Then the Scorpion dismantled a bunch of safety regulations and appointed a ton of awful judges and tried to ban entire religions.
(15/25): 15. “Where are we going,” asked the Frog suddenly, “this isn’t the way across.” “I’m going golfing for the 75th time in 10 months,” he said.
(16/25): 16. “That seems like a lot,” said the Frog. “Fuck you, I’m the Scorpion, I can do whatever. Also, who are you, and why are you on my back?”
(17/25): 17. “I’m the Frog,” he said. “Do you have advanced dementia?” “No! My brain great! I’m the smartest Scorpion in the…” He looked confused.
(18/25): 18. “…The ‘world?’” asked the Frog. But the Scorpion was just watching TV and yelling at the screen. Then he dozed off.
(19/25): 19. The Frog was freaked out. He read an article in the NY Times that some Frogs in the Midwest still liked the Scorpion. It was pointless.
(20/25): 20. When they got to the riverbed, he hopped off. Then the Scorpion stung him! As he was dying, the Frog said, “Why did you do that?”
(21/25): 21. The Scorpion replied, “I don’t fucking know. Why do I do anything? I’m 71, a complete asshole, and my brain has massively deteriorated.”
(22/25): 22. “But you guys elected me – well, you and the Russians – and the GOP is so horny for tax cuts for rich people they won’t do shit.”
(23/25): 23. “Am I sorry I stung you? No. I could careless. Business at my riverbank hotel is up 30%. I’m rolling in dough. Also who are you?”
(24/25): 24. The Frog died. The Scorpion was last seen getting into a limo with Lindsey Graham, wearing a polo shirt and dark pants.
(25/25): 25. And that’s the ancient fable of the Scorpion and the Frog. You can see why it sort of reminds me of what’s going on.
That’s pretty amusing, but goddamn, people. 25 tweets?
Thanks for compiling it for my sanity.
I’m beginning to think the ancients also had twitter. It might account for the creation of epic verse as an art form.
(1/53834556) Sing, Muse, the rage of Achilles, Peleus’ son;
(2/53834556) And his wrath toward Agamemnon, king of the Argives,
(3/53834556) Who strove on the shores of Ilium ten long years
This blind poet destroys prideful Myrmidon!
+1 for awesomeness
Trump does a softball interview on Fox Business but I lol’d at how he just can’t resist talking about Football instead. Seriously she tees him right up with the ‘rich people get the biggest tax break because they pay the most taxes’ and he just forgets he’s at bat.
BARTIROMO: If the top earners pay 80 percent of the taxes, why are you so afraid to cut taxes on the top earners?
TRUMP: I think this, look, you know, I am very happy with the way I’ve done part of this in my civilian life, all right.
BARTIROMO: Of course. This is not about —
TRUMP: Other people — well, it’s about me representing rich people.
BARTIROMO: Okay.
TRUMP: Representing — being representative of rich people. Very interesting to me Bob Kraft was down. He was very nice. He owns the Patriots. He gave me a Super Bowl ring a month ago. And he —
BARTIROMO: Well, Putin took his —
TRUMP: Which was very nice. That’s right. But he left this beautiful ring, and I immediately give it to the White House and they put it some place, and that’s the way it is.
BARTIROMO: That’s great.
Wait, so Kraft gave Trump a superbowl ring?
Didn’t Putin just like, steal one once when Kraft was showing it to him or something? I seem to recall him showing it to Putin and Putin saying, “yeah, that’s nice. Thanks.” And then just keeping it.
“I took out the ring and showed it to [Putin], and he put it on and he goes, 'I can kill someone with this ring,'” Kraft said at an event this week, via the New York Post. “I put my hand out and he put it in his pocket, and three KGB guys got around him and walked out.”
Classic Putin.
That moment when you realize that owning a corporation doesn’t mean shit compared to owning a country.
Guys, you’re missing the obvious point. Putin gave the ring to Trump.
Yeah, I’m trying to parse what he’s saying here. Kraft gave him a ring a month ago? But, as the interviewer points out, Kraft’s was stolen by Putin. So Trump goes, yeah, it was nice, anyway he gave me one( I mean, he’s the owner, so I guess he has a bunch?). And then Trump gives it to the White House, and it’s around there somewhere? And this was brought up for no apparent reason by Trump?
I think, and this is more the only way I can conceivably make sense of it rather than any confidence it’s actually the case, the thought process was something like this: people say I’m a rich guy, just representing the rich. But look, there’s this rich guy who’s real nice to me, see, and he gave me a gift, but I gave it to the nation because I’m such a stand up guy. I’m not in this for myself.
Well the nation doesn’t want a damn Super Bowl ring from those cheaters in New England.
I’ll gladly accept a ring from the Patriots over a ring from President Shitgibbon.
Bad news, you get both.
Or neither.
Or both.
No one really knows because Grandpa is incoherent.