Wisdom and Aphorisms from President Trump: Great Leader, Great Teacher, Great Supreme Commander, Great Helmsman of our Nation


I ended up figuring it was a denture malfunction, or maybe a recent novacaine injection that kicked in at about the 10 minute mark.

“God blesch the Urnited Schtates.”



I totally read that as “Trump Reality” party at first. Because of course they’d throw a party like that.


I mean, it’s either that or a stroke.

It’s entirely possible it’s a stroke.


Nah - he had to clench his teeth through the whole speech to keep himself from going off script and calling the Palestinians terrorists or ranting about Hillary and Warren. His jaw muscles were just worn out.


Jeb Bush low energy, Hillary Clinton lack of stamina, etc.


I’ve never known a dry throat to cause slurred speech.


I find it strange he hasn’t released any medical records … no, wait a sec, I don’t find that strange at all, since the man refuses to release jack or shit.


So which drug is he on that’s causing that dry mouth?





Satan Sanders? Lying? Say it isn’t so!


Don’t get my hopes up.


Because you just know there was going to be a previous tweet:


It’s amazing how Trump preemptively tweeted shit about what he was going to do, for literally every thing he was ever going to do.


I still say there’s a nonzero chance he’s Andy Kaufman and this is his greatest masterpiece.


Time Travel Trump strikes again.


When President Trump slurred his words during a news conference this week, some Trump watchers speculated that he was having a stroke. I watched the clip and, as a physician who specializes in brain function and disability, I don’t think a stroke was behind the slurred words. But having evaluated the chief executive’s remarkable behavior through my clinical lens for almost a year, I do believe he is displaying signs that could indicate a degenerative brain disorder.
Every day of my working life, I evaluate people with brain injuries. It falls to me to make decisions about what is normal and what is not, what can improve and what will not, whether or not my patients can work, what kind of work they can do, and pretty much everything else.

In turning my attention to the president, I see worrisome symptoms that fall into three main categories: problems with language and executive function; problems with social cognition and behavior; and problems with memory, attention, and concentration. None of these are symptoms of being a bad or mean person. Nor do they require spelunking into the depths of his psyche to understand. Instead, they raise concern for a neurocognitive disease process in the same sense that wheezing raises the alarm for asthma.

Here’s the evidence on which I base my conclusion that it would be prudent for the president to be tested for a brain disorder.


Aww man, poor Trump. I hope he can find the help he needs once he steps down to focus on his health and family.


I was going to make a joke about spending more time sexually harassing his family…but it feels too real.