Wisdom and Aphorisms from President Trump: Great Leader, Great Teacher, Great Supreme Commander, Great Helmsman of our Nation


Happy Trumpsgiving


Being an ass to own the libs



Yeah, world leaders can’t believe how strong he’s made our country.


Dumbest man alive


Not to be overly crude, but Bolton looks like he’s pleasuring himself behind that notepad. I can almost see his mustache quivering.


Not to be overly crude, but I have a sudden urge to drill a hole in my skull and funnel in some Draino.


Sorry, man. Have you considered drilling holes in your monitor as an alternative?


We’ll really win that new arms race with our clean coal subs. Way better than those nuclear subs we had to get rid of when Albert Einstein died.


Electro-magnetism is just a hoax dreamed up by Big Physics to get research grants.


I heard wind-powered navies are all the rage.


Who am I kidding. Too hippy-dippy.


Albert Einstein sounds like the name of an immigrant refugee.


So is Trump just stirring up stuff to deflect attention from Ivanka’s emails?




Read this in Nimoy’s voice, from Civ IV, (allegedly quoting Napoleon)

“You would make a ship sail against the wind and currents by lighting a bonfire under her decks? I have no time to listen to such nonsense.”


Albert Einstein was an immigrant refugee.

If we had turned that refugee away, would we have developed the atomic bomb when we did? If we had turned Einstein away, would the 20th Century have turned out differently?


Can’t even be bothered to have passable canned answers ready.


Yes. That’s the joke. It’s funnier if you read it in Trump’s voice.


It’d probably be just like today, only the Nazis in charge would be better dressed and smarter.


Counting down the seconds until Trump makes some jackass comment about Hayden suffering a stroke.