Wisdom and Aphorisms from President Trump: Great Leader, Great Teacher, Great Supreme Commander, Great Helmsman of our Nation


Am I the only one who read that as “20 dedicated White House lawyers and a bunch of detainees”?


Ha ha – I read it that way too and had to re-read it.


Raises hand.


I know this is naive, but 20 lawyers seems like a lot of lawyers to me. Considering they will also have all kinds of other clerical staff, researchers, etc.


What do you call 20 lawyers in the White House?

[insert punchline here]


I don’t know how many lawyers a usual President should have but I’m guessing that 500 lawyers wouldn’t be enough to handle Trump’s insanity.


We are so excited for you to bring your children, kicking and screaming, into this year’s display. To put you in the holiday mood we’ve chosen to go a little on-the-nose by using so much red it looks like the walls of the White House are bleeding. After all, what is Christmas with the Trumps if not a horror movie full of tired clichés?
The irony of this elaborate display about a refugee family seeking protection from persecution is completely lost on us.

But just in case, we’re going to separate the Baby Jesus from Mary and Joseph indefinitely.


Were Mary and Joseph refugees? I thought they were just traveling to participate in the census.


Egypt man, it was after the census that the legal government felt that potential political opponents needed to be expunged so they fled political persecution by crossing the border.

Really it’s the Egyptians fault for harboring fugitives, the family were criminals on the lam, and the open borders policy just allowed them right in. And not even contributing members of society, that kid was sucking up government resources and likely taking grain doles.


According to one Gospel (paraphrased), King Herod The Asshole heard that some kid was born to eventually kill him. So he slew his father and married his mother-- sorry, wrong myth. He started slaughtering all the infants in the land
Jesus, Mary and Joseph (best pronounced with a slight brogue and slur) fled to Egypt for safety, where they did not need to contend with giant walls or tear gas.


Ah, ok.



Imagine the Republican freakout if Obama had said this:

“You’d better get back in there soon, that’s Ohio,” Trump told reporters, zeroing in on the plant whose fate concerned him the most. He elaborated in an interview with the Wall Street Journal , “They better damn well open a new plant there very quickly. I love Ohio. I told them, ‘You’re playing around with the wrong person.’” Apparently concerned he had made the point with too much subtlety, Trump continued, “I said, ‘I heard you’re closing your plant. It’s not going to be closed for long, I hope, Mary, because if it is you have a problem.’”


It would be fun to get Obama to go on video acting some of Trump’s statements/tweets/comments as if they’d been his own.


Looking forward to the tomorrow morning’s tweetstorm.


This angers me almost as much as Trump existing.



you think he sweats tang?




As a young man he looked all right. Pity he grew up into a ‘rancid bag of old sins,’ to borrow Charlie Pierce’s phrase.