X-Com but lady mutant air pirates - It's X-Piratez!

Clint Eastwood never played X-COM. As such, he is not a man but merely a whiskered thing.

Never played an XCom game (the beginning where you have to select a location on the globe then build your base always daunted me) but I kinda always wanted to, remembering how enjoyable some of those Gerry & Sylvia Anderson UFO episodes were as a teen. As for modders adding tons of additional content to an old game, perhaps I shouldn’t attempt that Fallout 1.5 + the others I was thinking about doing a play through with. I can barely handle those widescreen hacks that turn old 480p games into super hi-res ultra wide 4K aspect ratios where the characters in old isometric games now look like flies crawling across a discarded side of beef left on the side of a road.

It’s like, one click. Just click somewhere at random!

I love me some soft core, but this is a bridge too far.

Besides the modern XCOM has nude mods. That’ll do.

This is a great mod. Thanks for posting. I started playing a few months back. It’s immersive, tactical, tense. The art style is humorous, the writing and setting is bonkers (in a good way). Very much worth a look for any tactical gaming fans. I found it close to Rim World as a story generator - the longer fights, crazy scenarios and distinct characters made me really feel for my little electronic companions. But it’s X-Com, so don’t get too attached. :-)

But what if he does click the wrong thing!

(with clicking NA or Europe to cover their lands would be enough)

He could have ended up in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, and then his game is over before it even begins!


Isn’t that just the start for a Terror From the Deep campaign?

Yeah, it’s not like there wasn’t an optimum area to click on, and you could actually select a place where it would pretty much be over before it started. It wasn’t just the location you needed to click, but also the button that apparently allowed you to build bases too; and not only that, but you must find the button that activates the UFO baddies a’comin, If you missed a button or forgot to click a button, it was like that old poor taste joke about the late Christa McAuliffe of the Space Shuttle Challenger tragedy. Christa: “What’s this button do?” Game over, man. Buttons, buttons, who got the buttons? I never saw a game that needed so many buttons clicked to even start. No wonder I was paralyzed with indecisiveness.

this u?


I only consider it a game “I played” if I get past the 5 minute mark. I attempted Xcom on both MS-DOs and Amgia but the amount of time I spent with it and being stumped was tantamount to looking at screenshots rather than playing it. I “played” Jagged Alliance on original MS-DOS original hardware though, if we need to get precise about that term… for a good half-hour, until it crashed to the command prompt after the first mission… then crashed to the command line in the 3rd mission. I guess I got the hint by then that this wasn’t a particularly stable build of the game.

1999 Peter: Man, Jagged Alliance 2 is so awesome, I can’t imagine how great the sequels must be in the future!

2022 Peter: I’m not sure how to tell you this, but…

1999 Peter: What? Are you saying they’re not good?

2022 Peter: That’s exactly what I’m saying, they are fucking garbage. Also fascism is back!

1999 Peter: Wow, that’s…

2022 Peter: Yeah. But hey, speaking of fascism, four years from now, you’re gonna pick up a janky Russian video game called Silent Storm, that’s set in the Second World War, and it’s gonna be even better than Jagged Alliance 2.

1999 Peter: I sure hope it doesn’t have mechs!

2022 Peter: Well…

1999 Peter: Motherfucker.

Sooo…lemme get this straight.

This is thread; about a mod to the original X-COM; about the dichotomy between anime buxom broads and muscular she-hulks?

Where do I (not) sign up?

One thing to note is that while the original old x-com game has only marginally different effects based on base location on the globe, x-piratez actually has different starting location benefits based on where you put your first base ranging from three beast riders, to 12 combat clones(slightly souped up peasants), to a huge score penalty(but the country is tech critical, and you get the country tech of wherever you start)

Being a total uber-noob to even the original X-Com games, I suppose I shouldn’t even attempt xPiratez since the law typically is: don’t even think about playing an advanced mod of any game where you haven’t even played the original; this is only for the hardcore X-Com nutballs! Besides, with that artwork I’d worry I’d start to feel like R. Crumb and his fetish for hulking, big-assed women ;)

Yeah, I highly recommend a play of the original- play through the thing, the original UFO defense is fairly short once you know the progression. There are differences in mechanics in the advanced mods, but it’s important to know basics like how reactions work before you play a game where you have to make decisions about charging into melee.

I have gotten quite obsessive over this mod lately, so would recommend it if you are into retrogaming…
Seriously, tho Panzeh, how do I get “get a guaranteed 7-pack of max-stats male soldiers at the end of the first year”???

Spoilers for how to do that.

There are three preconditions for the event to happen.

  • Choose “Reject the Power” when it comes to the drill/menacing hull choice.
  • Choose “Male Touch” when it comes to recruiting policy
  • Research “Stop attacking Civilian Traffic” by November of the first year.

If you do all that, in December you will get seven human heroes with some equipment for them.

Awesome! Thanks a lot!

I almost feel bad for recommending this so strongly given the way the last couple of iterations have turned out.

I was more or less oblivious to the changes he’d made to the ninjas, with the base building and the effect it has on your support, but man, that’s such a horrible design.

For me it means a hard-locked defeat pretty early on, unless I find some way to destroy ninja bases AND start hitting traffic as fast as possible, which means I need to already know the tech tree before I start playing, and start prepping for it immediately.

That’s no fun! I just wanna be a happy go lucky mutant lady pirate, I don’t need that kind of responsibility.

When I do go back to this again, I think I’ll go with one of the earlier builds, before the ninjas got serious.