Your Last Meal

I am not sure what id eat, but it would definitly include some kind of painless poison that would put me to sleep. I do not think I would want to fry in an electric chair like a sausage in a microwave.

He is grown up - he’s old.
Just like my grandfather who refused to eat anything that didn’t start out as red meat and ended as a charred slab smothered in thick brown sauce and served with potatoes. French fries was too fancy smancy for him… and my brother is a gourmet chef.

An endless buffet.

I’m kinda torn between:

  1. french onion soup, a ribeye (rare) with garlicky potatoes and creamed spinach, and chocolate mousse.
  2. some kind of appetizer, abalone with a citrus sauce, and a mango tort. Probably just because I haven’t had abalone in a decade.

Yeah, it was when I grew up that I stopped putting ants and insects and shit like that in my mouth. And it’s not that it’s gotta be red meat to make me happy. I don’t eat rat (the other red meat) either.

Suit y’rself though; less water dung beetle for me = more for you!

French Onion Soup
Rack of Ribs with Garlic Potatoes and steamed broccoli
German Chocolate Cake with Oreo Ice Cream

And if the broccoli is overcooked, I should get to go free.


Satay of Seychelles Magpie-Robin

Main course:
Grilled Baiji (Yangtze River Dolphin)

Mousse of Madagascan Cacao

The time it would take to track those down should buy me a few extra months…

On second thought, for dessert I’d like a syringe, filled with top-quality heroin. Because, at that point, why the fuck not?

  • Small, fresh dinner salad with -good- ranch dressing.

  • Fried (not baked) seasoned french fries with ketchup and mayo

  • Two 1/3 pound grilled hamburgers made with decent beef. American cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles, ketchup, mayo, mustard.

  • Chocolate shake (light on the chocolate)

  • Sundae made over 3 big, soft, fresh chocolate chip cookies. Ice cream should be natural vanilla style, topped with hot fudge, cool whip, and one cherry.

Y’know, as a side note, and as long as I’m bashing shellfish, this thing is SICK. Lobster with arm hair like an eye-talian.

Now if they could only find that wondrous and magical fantasy creature I’ve heard so much about: the bearded clam.

Is Bald Eagle an acceptable request?

The warden’s daughter. That’s a good last request.

A sushi chef to make a wide variety of tasty stuff and Boston Creme pie and Breyers vanilla ice cream.

I change my answer to heroin.

See, I knew I should just have said “what is your favorite meal?”. The whole electric chair thing has thrown you all WAY off.

I think real last meals have a $20 limit.

I’m pretty sure I’d be looking for the ultimate in comfort food given this situation. Baked macaroni and cheese. Prime rib, medium rare. Mashed potatoes with gravy. And, since I’m so exceptionally unimaginative, a coke.

Appetizer: jumbo shrimp in a perfect zesty cocktail sauce.

Entree: hand spun spaghetti (thick noodles, not that angel hair fag stuff) smothered in homemade tomato sauce with ground sirloin meat/meatballs. Garlic french bread on the side.

Drink: whatever the experts consider the perfect Pinot Grigio or Riesling because I love girly froo-froo wine

Dessert: a maple butter blondie from Applebee’s

My all-time favourite dinner:
Mashed potatoes, roast beef (both drenched in gravy!) and creamed corn. Also a tall glass of milk. I could then get electrified to death not feeling too bad.

a bag of fertiliser and 2 bags of sugar for me please (or is it the other way round?), or a nice meal of bleach, citric acid and crushed heat tablets.

and a pound of nails.

I will then welcome an electrical current being passed through me.