3 - Lebowski:
OLDER COP
Snap out of it, son.
The home phone starts ringing--a ring distinct from the
chirp of the portable. The Dude makes no move to answer
it. Finally the rings stop as an answering machine kicks
on.
DUDE
You find them much? Stolen cars?
Dude's Voice on Machine The Dude's not in. Leave a message
after the beep. It takes a minute.
YOUNGER COP
Sometimes. I wouldn't hold out much
hope for the tape deck though. Or
the Creedence tapes.
DUDE
And the, uh, the briefcase?
Beep.
FEMALE VOICE ON MACHINE
Mr. Lebowski, I'd like to see you.
Call when you get home and I'll send
a car for you. My name is Maude
Lebowski. I'm the woman who took
the rug.
Beep. Dial tone.
OLDER COP
Well, I guess we can close the file
on that one.
- Lebowski:
After the Dude’s outgoing message we hear:
VOICE THROUGH MACHINE
Mr. Lebowski, this is Duty Officer
Rolvaag of the L.A.P.D.
The Dude looks stuporously up, his head swaying.
VOICE THROUGH MACHINE
We've recovered your vehicle. It
can be claimed at the North Hollywood
Auto Circus there on Victory.
DUDE
Far out. Far fuckin' out.
MESSAGE
You'll just need to present a--
The message is interrupted by loud smashing sounds, as of
someone applying a baseball bat to the answering machine.
- Lebowski:
DUDE
Walter, if you're there, pick up the
fucking phone. Pick it up, Walter,
this is an emergency. I'm not--
WALTER
Dude?
DUDE
Walter, listen, I'm at my place, I
need you to come pick me up--
WALTER
I can't drive, Dude, it's erev
shabbas.
DUDE
Huh?
WALTER
Erev shabbas. I can't drive. I'm
not even supposed to pick up the
phone, unless it's an emergency.
DUDE
It is a fucking emergency.
WALTER
I understand. That's why I picked
up the phone.
DUDE
THEN WHY CAN'T YOU--fuck, never mind,
just call Donny then, and ask him to--
WALTER
Dude, I'm not supposed to make calls--
DUDE
WALTER, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, WE GOTTA
GO TO PASADENA! COME PICK ME UP OR
I'M OFF THE FUCKING BOWLING TEAM!
Runner up:
Lebowski:
VOICE Dude, this is Smokey. Look, I don’t
wanna be a hard-on about this, and I
know it wasn’t your fault, but I
just thought it was fair to tell you
that Gene and I will be submitting
this to the League and asking them
to set aside the round. Or maybe
forfeit it to us–
DUDE
Shit!
VOICE
--so, like I say, just thought, you
know, fair warning. Tell Walter.
A beep.
ANOTHER VOICE
Mr. Lebowski, this is Brandt at, uh,
well--at Mr. Lebowski's office.
Please call us as soon as is
convenient.
Beep.
ANOTHER VOICE
Mr. Lebowski, this is Fred Dynarski
with the Southern Cal Bowling League.
I just got a, an informal report,
uh, that a uh, a member of your team,
uh, Walter Sobchak, drew a loaded
weapon during league play--
