I too finished this recently (off your recommendation)! Overall loved it and mostly agree with your points.
These characters are horny as fuck. Not in the sense of explicit sex-scenes (mostly), but lord a’mighty huge swathes of their internal narration would work as Sir Mix-A-Lot songs. Just constantly talking about who and how and why and how frequently they want to bone whomever else.
This is not what I come to my epic fantasy for, to be real honest.
On top of that, it’s pretty transparent how the author went down a big ol’ list-o-queerness checking boxes. Here’s your gay woman, here’s your trans man, here’s your trans woman, here’s your bi couple, here’s your pan-poly-trans situation, here’s your asexual dude, here’s your kinky pan dude, just on down the list.
This is not necessarily problematic as the kids say, but it’s pretty obvious.
I get that the author came into this with the clear intention to write a sex-positive, queer-affirming Epic Fantasy with Maps. And he did! And it’s quite a skillful narrative, and a good series of books.
I just kinda don’t care about all that and found it distracting more than anything else (and a little eye-rolling at times, like okay dude I GET IT MOVE ON).
Then again, maybe that part is Not For Me and that’s okay. And hell, I bet some queer or just curious teenagers are going to read this and feel affirmed and seen in a way that matters to them, and that’s great because all people should be able to have those good feels.
Anyway, my lawn needs constant vigilance, is what I’m trying to say.