Create Your Own Year-End Awards 2017

As imagined by @forgeforsaken, (and carried on by @TimJames and @Giaddon and @Canuck) now is the time of year when we can all gather and create our own awards for our favorite, least favorite, and random games!

The only rule is: if you disagree with another poster, share that in the form of an award.

A bit of a tradition that we sadly missed last year, it’s the totally made up awards. Since the awards themselves are made up, the criteria tend to be a little more complicated than just “best”, so help us out and give a line or two of explanation about each one.

Best Game on Best Platform Ever Award: The World Ends With You, (the Nintendo DS / 3DS being the best plaform.) I revisited this early this year, wondering if it would hold up, and against all odds not only did hold up, but I 100%-ed it this time, which is something I never did the first time around. That means I beat Hanekoma on top of New Pork City.

Best Bug-Collecting and Grass Cutting Simulator for a 4-year old: Zelda, Breath of the Wild.

Best Season of Food Wars Award: Battle Chef Brigade, a weird little match-3 / brawler mashup on the Switch. I’m not sure the mechanics are really all there, but the story and characters are quite charming, and wacky anime-style themed cooking powers are always going to be entertaining to me.

The I Never Felt Like, So Miserable Lifetime Achievement Award for Best Game Music: Persona 5. I’ve thought a lot of thoughts about Persona 5, and I haven’t even finished it, but I think the soundtrack is a stand out achievement. While Persona 3 had a single theme that repeated in many variations across different scenes, Persona 4 had a much wider variety of music that spanned multiple genres. Persona 5 returns to a more consistent soundscape, which really makes it feel more like a place, perhaps reflecting the relative monotony of urban life. The music is as important a part of Persona franchise as the demons or the life simulation, and they delivered.

Unplayable Masterpiece Award: Yumi’s Odd Odyssey / Sayonara Yumihara Kawase. Not a new game this year (but who said they had to be?) I picked this up after being assured that it was a completely unique platforming experience. That may be, but I’ll never know, because the user experience is just punishingly bad.

2017-iest Game of 2017: Star Citizen.

Game I played in 2017 that actually brought tears to my eyes: Valiant Hearts.

Most Furrowed Brows of 2017: Yakuza 0. Take a deep breath, guys. Remember what your anger management instructor talked about at the meeting last week. The 80s are pretty cool. Enjoy yourself a bit.

Best Character Wearing Shorts: 9S from NieR: Automata. They still look terrible.

Greatest Asian-Smashing Simulator of the Year: Nioh. This narrowly edged out Yakuza 0. Although punching jerky Asians in the face was a lot of fun, in Nioh you could barehanded parry the greatest warrior in the West and kill him with a single counterattack.

Craziest Weapons: The Dishwasher: Vampire Smile (PC). If any game this year can beat slicing people with a giant needle and a giant pair of scissors, please let me know.

Best Hidden Object Game of 2017: PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds. Oh no! I’ve lost my AR suppressor and I need your help finding it before time runs out!

Most expensive game I pre-ordered, installed, played 40 minutes then promptly uninstalled in disgust Star Wars Battlefront 2

Most zen experience of suffocating at the bottom of a cave with a backpack full of ore - Astroneer. This one has taken over the whole family, from my wife and myself to the kids. And with cross platform play, we have a lot of fun meeting up in world and going on rover expeditions together.

Best repetitive job simulator - What Remains of Edith Finch narrowly beats out Cook Serve Delicious 2.

GTA IV of the Year: Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Best Use of Grawlix: Mario + Rabbids after being asked to escort Toady. Again.

Best Place Names: Antihero

Tenderbelly Way, Ghastly Toot, Tickletail Inn, Fleshpotter Park, Filthy Tub, Numptycross, Whispered Shame, Abbatoir Sluice… to name a few. They’re possibly proc. gen.

That would make it an Asian smashing simulator, not an Asian-smashing simulator, no?

Game that Stunned Me the Most Visually - Horizon Zero Dawn in 4K and with HDR. Just incredible.

Hardware that Most Impressed Me - Nintendo Switch. This device is such a pleasure to use, docked or undocked. Runner-Up - G-Sync/High Refresh. Good grief that’s smooth.

Best Old Game Resurrected With an Expansion - Titan Quest. WTF?!

What I Got Most Out of These Awards (so far) - The word grawlix.

Best Game To Amuse Toddlers with by Scanning Amiibos and Making Treasure Fall From the Sky: Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Person I would not hand a loaded gun. EVER*: @Lantz

*= Except in situations where all the other Cylons are known, or unrevealed and me. **

**= Hell, I’d probably do so in the last case.

Devs that keep on giving: the Trese Bros.
Been playing Templar Battleforce for over a year, spread over multiple little sessions: each time the game got significant upgrades, and during any session, they will improve little things here and there almost weekly.
Runner-up: Killerfish games for Cold Waters.

Game that I regret playing a year too late: Stephen’s Sausage Roll.
Labelling it as a puzzle game does this wonder a disservice: it isn’t a game about reverse-engineering some arbitrary contraption; it isn’t a game for programmers in denial of their workaholic condition. It is a game rewarding our natural, human, curiosity.

Game that I regret playing a decade too late: Bayonetta.
At least I got to play it.

Game that is going “wush” over my head so far: Night in the Woods.
If this is something people can relate to, I don’t understand: the depiction of a society constituted of nihilistic wise-asses with no contrary voices was chilly… as chilly as what I read when I end up reading somebody’s linked Twitter thread.

Biggest Wallet Threat: Matrixgames
I don’t know what were those old maths they were rambling about sales not being worht it before they went berzerk on that front, but I know 1/4 my yearly gaming budget went into their pockets.

Best Daily Read:’s daily sales pitch.
The guy has been going at it all year long, every single day. There are hit and miss (and sometimes a bit of jerkness: that SW:TLJ spoiler wasn’t nice…), but wow, I am amazed that that crazed word-well hasn’t dried up yet!

Best in-game tunes that drove my wife crazy: Bottom of the 9th’ opening song.

Don’t worry, you can catch up with the genre, especially since it’s dead right now. I’m proof of that!

Game that Stunned Me the Most Visually - Inis. Seriously, just do a Google image search for “Inis card art.”

Best Snow Angels: Horizon Zero Dawn: The Frozen Wilds
The “Forget it Jake, it’s Chinatown” award: Yakuza 0
Worst Weather: the rain in The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Creepiest Janitor: Little Nightmares

Most Surprising Appearance of Breasts: AC Origins

“Excuse me, can you help me figure out why my family was brutally murdered? Hey, my EYES are up here!”

Best Resurrection of a Classic Game We Never Expected to See Again: Super Blood Hockey / Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun (tie)

Best Gameplay Scene - Composing Music: Lion’s Song

Best Gameplay Scene - Explaining Mathematics: Lion’s Song

Bounciest Cat: Cat Quest

The You-Only-Had-To-Live-Up-To-The-Source-Material-So-What-Happened? Award: Shadowhand (which isn’t a decent romance/adventure novel?!)

The My-God-It’s-Full-Of-Stars Award: Gorogoa

Ruined By Difficulty Game 2017: Rain World

Redeemed By Difficulty Game 2017: Hollow Knight

Game of the Not this Year, but I Played it This Year for the First Time- Witcher 3. Started it in late December, and played it until June/ July. And nothing else. While I am not as high on it as some, it probably fails to make my top 10 all time, it was a very good game. That I played it all the way through is a testament to quality, as it goes in with two strikes against it (long ass RPG when I have 5 hours a week, max, for games, and fantasy setting)

Game I Spent the Most Time Thinking, Reading, and Everything But Actually Playing It X-wing Miniatures. Ok, I did actually play it, probably as much as any other board game, but compared to how much time I spent creating lists, reading strategy guides, watching tournament videos, r browsing the subreddit? For every hour on the table I probably spent 5-10 elsewhere.

I love that. It is a nice meaty game that gives me lots to think about, even when my gaming time is limited. Plus they now have just released the Assault Gunboat for it. And I love it!

Hardware of the Year SNES Classic. I considered multiple ways to fit this on here, but ultimately this is it. Final Fantasy 6 and Super Metroid are still super good, and playing these games with my son is the best.

New Years Resolution I Actually Followed Through On Spend less on games. My digital spend for the year? $50. Board games, however, are a slightly different tale. But I get those out more often. Witcher 3 helped here. With that eating half a year, with another 1/4 of the year being spent traveling for work, that really only left 3 months for gaming. Subtract 1 for the holidays, and you can see where this is going. So I bought almost nothing. I plan on spending no more this year.

Relearning Why I Love Nintendo Award My son. The SNES Classic is perfect for this, but so have Mario Galaxy, Mario Kart Wii, and Twilight Princess. Playing video games with my son recently has been great. And nobody makes it better than Nintendo. I liked them before, and these were all games in my personal collection, but simply being able to play them with my son makes getting a few extra hours in so much easier.

Best New Family and Friends Boardgame That Will Be In Permanent Rotation Captain Sonar. It’s a blast. Got it in June, and did not regret it one bit. It, along with Hogwarts Battles, were the reason my boardgame spend was 3-4 times my digital one. Deliciously tense and chaotic, I heartily reccomend it to all.

Thanks for the tip!

Hot Heads Full of Lead Award: Cuphead and Gunhead (from Cryptark).

Best Game From A Prior Year Award, Which Totally Justified My Purchase of A Console: Bloodborne

I Think I Might Be Broken For Not Enjoying It Award: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Best VR Experience: Google Earth VR

The “Wait–What?” Award: Doki Doki Literature Club