Dem Debate Tonight—Socialist Distancing Edition (BASICALLY STARTING NOW)

Starring: Sanders and Biden

—Tonight’s debate will feature 6-feet of distance between Bernie Sanders and Joe Biden given the concerns over coronavirus.

—The candidates will be issued protective environmental bubbles just in case; Biden has been having flashbacks to the Spanish Flu, so this should help with that.

How can I watch the debate on TV and online?

The debate will air exclusively live on CNN, CNN en Español, CNN International and Univision.

It will stream live in its entirety, without requiring log-in to a cable provider, on’s homepage, across mobile devices via CNN’s apps for iOS and Android, and via CNNgo apps for Apple TV, Roku, Amazon Fire, Chromecast and Android TV, as well as Univision’s digital properties.

To follow live updates and read analysis of the debate, go to CNN’s live coverage here.

In other news, the futures are down again. I’m not feeling as jokey as with previous debates.

One important piece of info missing: the time!

Starts at 5pm pacific, so 11 minutes from now.

WHOOPSIE, I had it up on my second screen and totally forgot!

I haven’t even been paying attention to this, is there even a primary going on? I would never vote in this situation. And having elderly poll workers manning voting locations for hours during the worst pandemic in at least 50 years is fucking insane.

Yeah Bernie. “First thing we gotta do is shut this President up now.”

Did Biden really cough and touch his mouth first thing? That’s an alpha move.

Seriously, he’s doing a bit more hacking than I would prefer.

It’s much better without the crowd, that’s for sure. And without 50-thousand candidates.

I really like the lack of an audience.

Big thumbs up from me too.

Biden seems (in my opinion) to be performing much better without the crowd, too. I wonder if audiences give him anxiety? Or maybe it’s just not being rushed for time.

Bernie is very much an “actually…” guy.

Actually, has anyone told Bernie we have grocery delivery services?
[Edit: today I learned Instacart actually provides 2 weeks of sick pay for their staff if they get the virus, so I think that’s who I’d use.]

To be fair, there are a lot of places, big cities even, that don’t have that. Pittsburgh only got it last year I think.

When there are only 2 people talking…why not let the two of them have a debate, instead of constantly interrupting them?

I guess the problem is that you have two people that 90% agree on the issues, so you gotta push them into fighting somehow.

It really is dumb that the moderator keeps interrupting them and passing the focus to the other person. With only two people, let them talk. We can relax those rules a bit.


I would have loved to see these two guys seated somewhere comfortable, talking about the issues with each other for an hour. Replace the moderators with a bartender. That conversation would be a lot more enlightening than listening to their prepared responses to unsurprising questions.

Bernie literally turns every single thing into a question about income inequality.

He can’t talk about anything else.

Biden is on his game tonight, more so than any time I have seen this cycle.