Distant Worlds 2: this time, your space spreadsheet has a 3D engine!

So I’m kinda picking this up and I’m having a real hard time with the wars once your empire gets big. Your fleets mostly just sit around idle or retrofitting ad-infinitum or “loading troops” which apparently takes years even if the planet is completely swarming with troops.

Weirdly the AI doesnt seem to have this issue with me, as they’ll happily invade one of my worlds while my fleets which are way stronger just sit and do… nothing.

This all felt fine until my empire got big and now the AI just seems kind of gridlocked and unable to do anything. Am I missing something? I don’t really want to manually control and refuel 18 fleets.

Edit: I’m playing on easy for a first game and just to be clear I am 100% sure my fleets are set to automated, and they so grossly overpower the enemy that I should be rolling them if my fleets ever left port. In my current war I’ve lost a colony to an enemy with 20k fleet power and I have over 20x that much, their biggest fleet should maybe be somewhat threatening to a defense fleet. And the AI advisor is repeatedly begging me to make peace because I’ve lost a colony and my fleets refuse to invade them or even try to retake the colony I’ve lost.

Anything I’m missing here or is it a Stellaris type issue where the AI just kinda fails once empires hit a certain size?