Right? But believe it or not, Fahey is working like gangbusters these days. He has two scenes in Maneater, one shot in a “class room” where he had been giving a lecture about killer sharks, and one on location in Hawaii (?) that looks like it was slapped onto the end of the movie to justify Fahey’s salary. The shark is dead, the aggrieved father who hunted it down is avenged, and instead of the credits rolling, here comes Jeff Fahey for one more scene. “Hey, you avenged your daughter, that’s great,” Fahey says. Then the credits roll. Fahey couldn’t have worked more than three days on that movie. It was basically a paid vacation for him.
And if you look at his IMDB page, you can see he’s been doing five or six such projects a year! Fahey’s probably not going to win any recognition as a serious actor, but he’s got the kind of career any working actor would love to have. I was actually pretty happy to see him in Maneater, even though it was just a paycheck for him and there was no sign of a talented actor on display. It’s like he’s a leading man who’s been put out to pasture and now he’s just relaxing.
Welp @tomchick I found a movie in the stuck-people genre that’s even dumber than Fall or Open Water 2. It’s called S.O.S. Survive or Sacrifice. Have you ever seen a movie that was so dumb that it made you question you’re own intelligence? “This movie can’t be this stupid, right? I must’ve missed something?” But no. You didn’t miss anything. It’s just pure distilled idiocy.
The setup is two gals and two guys get into a hot air balloon and they become stranded in the air and start drifting over the ocean because one of the dudes didn’t tie the guide ropes to the basket. The revelation goes like this:
Dude 1: Shit! The ropes! I told you to tie off the ropes!
Dude 2: I did!
Dude 1: Did you tie them to the basket?
Dude 2: I tied them to the stakes. You didn’t say to tie them to the basket too!
If you expected a sad trombone noise or a fourth-wall breaking look at that point, you’ll be sadly disappointed. The movie thinks this is a seriously tense scene.
There is a nonsense secondary plot that involves one of the girls being William Baldwin’s hotel thief partner and a little sister being shuttled around by police detectives.
Okay, this is a major public service, Telefrog. I had no idea filmmakers had finally tapped into our fear of hot air balloons.
And from that trailer – which is about half-and-half heist/balloon action – it looks like they actually fight a windmill…and the windmill wins! If your goal was to wave me off this movie, you’re going to have to try harder.
So I guess it took me an extra year, but I finally got around to watching this. Yeah, the plot was trite and dumb (it’s sort of funny how many of the guesses in this thread of what would happen before the movie even came out turned out to be exactly correct). And, as the thread title says, it did have some trouble filling its running time (it only takes them a few minutes of screen time to climb the dumb tower, after all). And I don’t think it really earns the third act twist.
But some of the climbing stuff was legitimately vertigo-inducing. And I thought the lead actress (Grace Caroline Currey) really did a good job expressing the fear her character was going through. The other actress, less so, but Grace’s performance really helped the movie be more than just “hey look how high up we are”. I guess she was in Shazam, too, but she didn’t make any impression on me there that I can remember. Maybe just too many characters in that movie.
But holy moly, this movie is in love with cleavage. They even remark on it!
I thought some of the MacGyvering was good. Although I thought it was funny that they even called it MacGyvering. That show went off the air before these actresses were born!
Lionsgate is actually banking on a Fallverse, with two Fall sequels, according to the latest from the Hollywood Reporter! The first sequel supposedly starts shooting in June with both Sad Scared Girl and Happy Tits Girl returning. Hang on!
Lol, I’m wondering if she is going to be like Dexter’s dad or if Sad Scared Girl is going to be like Bruce Willis in the Sixth Sense. I’m trying to think of how you could make the stakes higher. Maybe they’re in space? Or–I’ve got it!–they get ejected from a high-altitude flight and the whole film takes place while they plummet to the ground.
True! Maybe they’ll be in the penthouse of a skyscraper when an earthquake happens and half the building topples, leaving them stranded on a rickety tower of bricks and steel girders.
