How many laws can Michael Cohen break? (all of them)

Politics and religion
1

Michael Cohen is all grown up now, once a lowly small time crook with a law degree from J.C. Penny.

Now he’s probably going to jail forever for a seemingly endless series of crimes performed in relation to Donald Trump. And as such, he deserves his own thread.

To start it off, we have this news today.

Bear in mind, this is not the first thing that Michael Cohen has done, it’s merely the most recent at the time of this thread’s creation. There is an endless litany of crimes that we’ve already seen evidence of prior to today. I’m sure they’ll show up here at some point as he gets prosecuted.

2

How in the world is this guy broke, then? Where is all that money going?

3

Kicking up.

4

I saw a lawyer do some napkin calculations on what his legal defense team was probably running in billable hours recently and it was 6 figures per day. Add in that he’s not a bright person and he probably wasted millions on bad investments, stupidity and the like.

5

Dang! And to think, trump IS tied into all of this. Crooked lawyer for crooked client.

6

https://www.cnn.com/2018/06/19/politics/michael-cohen-criminal-lawyer-guy-petrillo/index.html

Donald Trump’s personal attorney Michael Cohen has signaled to friends that he is “willing to give” investigators information on the President if that’s what they are looking for, and is planning on hiring a new lawyer to handle a possible indictment from federal prosecutors.
“He knows a lot of things about the President and he’s not averse to talking in the right situation,” one of Cohen’s New York friends who is in touch with him told CNN. “If they want information on Trump, he’s willing to give it.”
Cohen is planning to hire Guy Petrillo, a former chief of the criminal division of the US attorney’s office in Manhattan and an experienced trial lawyer, a source familiar confirmed.

This other link came from a twitter post, not sure how it got me past the paywall or if the article is freely available:

Mr. Cohen has frequently told associates in recent months he is frustrated that the president hasn’t offered to pay his legal fees, which he has said are “bankrupting” him, according to one of the people. He has said he feels that Mr. Trump owes him after his years of loyalty to the former real-estate developer, whom he served for nearly a decade at the Trump Organization.

7

Clearly Mikey has learned nothing from all the years he’s worked for Deadbeat Donnie.

8

Sounds like he’s giving a clear signal to Trump to pardon him now rather than later.

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I mean bankruptcy couldn’t happen to a more deserving guy, but can feds just force anyone to spend a fortune in legal defence or go to jail? I’ve heard that the average person going about their life usually ends up breaking some laws. So piss off the wrong prosecutor and they can usually find something in the books.

Basically I’m uncomfortable with the matter being decided based on how much money you’ve got in the bank.

11

They ain’t gonna put him in jail for jaywalking, dude.

12

Do you think that this is what has happened here? That Michael Cohen just pissed off the wrong person and is being unfairly prosecuted?

He is, of course, entitled to a free public defender, too.

Wait, actually, has Cohen even been charged with anything yet?

13

No i think hes guilty as sin. But it doesn’t seem right that his ability to hold out seems to turn on how millions he starts out with.

14
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I’m not talking about jaywalking. There are a lot if statutes on the books and a lot of them are pretty vague.

16

Some polonium should take care of that problem

17

He does have it rough. But he at least has one thing going for him: even when he gets charged, his kids won’t be taken to a “shelter.”

18

Well, maybe not if he raised them right.

19

Of course not. Jaywalking is a misdemeanor. We don’t throw people into prison over misdema…. oh, wait.

20

Gotta say, MikeJ you picked a weird guy to try to make us feel sorry for with regards to overzealous prosecution. Fuck Donald Trump’s personal lawyer for all the shit that he’s done, seriously.

Why not pick a more worthy person, like Aaron Swartz? There’s certainly a valid argument to be made about overprosecuting and overcharging, but using Michael Cohen as a posterboy is maybe a bit off the mark.