If You Could Strike One Song from Existence, What Would it Be?

I thought this would be hard. Then, somehow deep within my brain, rising unbidden and unwanted, like a pestilent pustule bursting forth came dark memories of that awful Debby Boone #1 song (the daughter of that bane on early rock and roll, Pat Boone), “You Light Up My Life”.

The horror!

Not to mention the movie…

Cranking up The Who full volume to drive out the memory.

This is tough. Most of the songs I really hate aren’t ones that get overly exposed in commercials or anything. For the most part they’re just songs I grew to hate while working in a warehouse in college where I had no control over the radio. So I’d be annihilating them out of spite.

It’s a toss up between Elton John’s Benny and the Jets, Walter Egan’s Magnet & Steel or The Doobie Brothers’ Black Water.

I am perfectly willing to accept that there are people who probably love these songs and will defend them unto the death. That’s fine. Die. The summer I heard Magnet & Steel three times a day was the longest of my life.

Don’t be so ign’nant.

Blind Melon, “No Rain.” There is no one left in the world that likes this song, and I am including the band members’ wives, girlfriends, and mothers.

While there are several Black Eyed Peas hits I’d love to have stricken from the record, I think I’ll have to go with Paul McCartney & Wings’s “Silly Love Songs.”

BS. I still very much enjoy that song when I randomly hear it on the radio.

Oh, fuck, add this to my earlier list.

Also Don’t Go Breakin’ my Heart.

Tough one.

Think I’d go with 9-5, Dolly Parton

You are dead inside.

I’d go with “Red Red Wine”. Specifically the UB40 version.

Man, I actually like a lot of what you guys have listed (Slade, for example - they’re fun songs!). If I had to choose it’d probably be ‘Zombie’ by the Cranberries because it’s just so fucking idiotic.

Also, Gus: dismissing an entire genre as ‘nonmusical chanting’ is facile. ‘Stan’ by Eminem alone makes the medium worthwhile.

Candle in the Wind. Man, that song sucks, and it gets even worse when welded to a soap opera like Diana’s.

You are objectively wrong by any commonly understood definition of “musical”. And to echo Hugin, Blondie?

I continue to live, so you are mistaken. Perhaps aim lower?


And that Cheerleader video that goes along with it too!

Generically speaking, I’ll go with “Whatever song at the moment all the vidders on Youtube think would be awesome background music for their Naruto/Bleach/300 video”

Carmina Burana/Requiem For A Tower/Bring Me To Life/Bodies by Drowning Pool, etc etc etc.

Robots, the both of you!


This. You nailed it.

This made the #1 Worst and Most Commercially Exploitative Songs of All Time, btw.

25 years later, the song has a commercial packaging which almost still has a price sticker on it, hainging in the air before you as it plays.

If Internet file sharing and the .mp3 killed the industry that created shit like this? Good. It’s a public service.

Moving from the practical to the theoretical, if there was any one Rap song that, if it was deleted from existence, Rap would never have come to be?

Than I pick that song to be erased from the History of the Planet, whatever it was.

I will be happy with the removal of any one of the popular screechy, wailing love songs. I’m thinking of Whitney Houston’s “I will aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalways love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu” or something by Celine Dion with similar wailing.

Hmm, since I can’t name any Celine Dion songs off the top of my head, I guess that means the Whitney Houston abomination is my choice.

“American Pie”.


Come on Eileen, by Dexys Midnight Runners.

There we go. Absolutely this.