Jon_Danger's Repository For Horrible Music Videos

Everything else
21

This doesn’t compare with the oddness of some of the previous entries, but Tom linked to this a few years ago in some thread.

Billy Squier “Rock Me Tonite”

Tom’s reminder activated some PTSD-like trauma in me from my teen MTV-viewing years, & now I can’t forget the damn thing.

22

Yikes! I’d forgotten about that video. Certainly a case of the portrayed image not matching the song. And a pink top on a guy . . . :-)

Indeed.

23

Here’s another one:

Cher’s “Turn Back Time,” the infamous battleship video version.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWqmgK1KnXY

I don’t know anyone who even at the time thought she really should be dressed like that, even if they liked the song.

24

Where’s that one that’s like a “made to TV” fantasy movie? I love that one.

25

This one usually pops up in any “worst videos” list. And with good cause.

Journey “Separate Ways”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQbZRMLKozk

26

Trapped in the Closet, of course. You can’t really separate the song from the video/short film, and the whole thing is so wonderfully (unintentionally) hilarious.

27

Here’s another one where the video has nothing to do with the song, not at all since the song is associated more with the movie it was the theme song for. Where they got the idea to do a 1984/Brazil riff from I have no idea.

28

Here’s everything wrong with the 80’s encapsulated in 3 minutes of beyond belief horrible.

29

Yeah, especially since Vacation predated Brazil by two years.

I still say, as I will ever, that no “worst video” (or “worst cover”) thread is complete without Celine…

30

I was pretty much the biggest Journey fan on the planet when this came out, and even I thought it was bad. Of course, I assumed they were forced to do it against their will, so I felt sorry for them. It made me even more faithful.

31

Candlemass - “Bewitched”


Classic doom metal that goes from bland and funereal to exceedingly bizarre and hilarious extremely quickly. Vocalist is a fat version of Claudio from Coheed & Cambria, and he plays the part of an evil wizard wonderfully. Watch it through, definitely.

Immortal - “Call of the Wintermoon”


Classic black metal that never really lets up in ridiculousness. Mostly features the band members running through a frost-bitten forest acting like trolls (Read: black-metal-speak for LARPers). Stupid and painful.

Rhapsody - “Unholy Warcry”


Outstanding symphonic metal band enlists Christopher Lee to narrate one of their God-awful fantasy plotted music videos while soaring orchestras attempt to hide the bad attempts at LotR-style filmmaking. Oh, and Lee dresses up like a gay king.

Kalmah - “The Groan of Wind”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqBexdo1CME
Mediocre melodic death metal band attempting to tell a Russian (Amish?) Zombie/Ghost story and enlisting a seriously creepy-looking old man to run around the woods and leer at the audience. Also, the band engage in synchronized windmill-headbanging in Hell(?).

Finntroll - Trollhammeren
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGywo81G6lk
Amazing Finnish folk metal band dress up like troll-viking-savages and play fake medieval instruments during a viking barroom brawl while shouting made-up words and jumping up and down and looking grimy and hilarious.

Iced Earth - “Ten Thousand Strong”


One of the best thrash metal bands on Earth record a two-part album about how technologically advanced humans invade an alien world and enslave them. . . before losing all their memories/technology to a spell cast by the aliens, turning us into the humans we know today while the aliens grow in power secretly waiting to kill us (the assassinate Jesus and JFK just to be dicks). Oh, but in order to be sure that people didn’t take the story seriously, the band then proceeds to record a horrible rotoscoped music video in which you learn that the “aliens” are actually just Arabic people getting blasted apart by white people. Don’t forget, the CD before this one was all about how America’s gonna kick the terrorists’ asses!

BONUS AWESOME/HORRIBLE VIDEO MAXIMUM PLUS!
Symphony X - “Set the World on Fire”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUn4jXZko5E
Stupidly skilled progressive metal band film themselves in the midst of a badly CG-animated battle between angels and demons who all actually look a lot like the winged-warrior dream sequences from Brazil. Includes bonus fire effects and camera sweeps for no good reason at all.

32

The Warrior. It’s like a sci-fi Cats.

Freek . The kind of Blade Runneresque imagery seems promising, and then it all goes WTF.

The Secret of My Success. They’re soo sure they’re rocking awesomely. They’re just so…smugly into it, it’s like they’re begging to be mugged.

Centipede. Uhm…okay, so she’s called the Centipede? Except she turns into a lion? And there’s a cobra? And Sith lightning powers? And is that gold face paint or a headband? And a lot of extras from Madonna’s Material Girl video?

33

So that’s how Capcom got the idea for P.N. 03.

34

Jesus Armando… you opened a can of worms with the inclusion of powermetal videos. Rhapsody has some truly terrible ones.
Hammerfall - Natural High

Apart from the ridiculousness of the band members, the huge amount of jump cuts, and the fact that the video is letterboxed to hell… I have no clue what is happening in this one, there are vampires… or… something, and some dude in the sky… then a band yelling at the camera… who knows.

35

are there any good powermetal/prog-metal videos?

36

I’m of the opinion that the Nightwish videos are watchable, but that’s as far as I would go.

And yeah, I can’t hear “bad videos” without immediately swarming things with metal vids =D

37

This ain’t no pancake breakfast!

also, a message from Speak about Peace from Hungary!

38

Taco: Puttin’ on the Ritz

Complete with creepy blackface.

And if you want to see it done practically oozing with class:

Fred Astaire’s version.

EDIT: and the defining version.

39

Glad you asked.

Holy fuck… how that wasn’t the first thing to come to my mind upon reading the thread title just baffles me. Go watch it (and watch it, and watch it… like the UN marshalls).

40

Rush

Time Stand Still