@arrendek has a script that includes an ignore button. It doesn’t work with the latest Firefox it seems. He can tell you more.
Two thoughts….
I started coming here every day to hear people talking about games because beyond a couple of guys at work, I don’t know anyone who plays games. I stayed because people talk about other things I am interested in too. I’d bet that a lot of the females I talk to in some of the mmo guilds I’ve been it would like it here too. I’d also bet that the women I am friends with in real like wouldn’t. Not because it’s unfriendly to females but because they don’t enjoy talking about geeky things like games and graphics cards. I do.
To me, a forum is friendly and inviting when people are polite to each other. That’s it. Nothing complicated about it. We all know how easy it is to come off as disrespectful or dismissive online. So if you disagree with someone, stop responding before you get to the point of repeating the same thing over and over but with an insult attached. I’m not talking about good natured banter that may come off as insulting to a new comer reading the forum without knowing anything about the place. I’m talking about things said that are simply nasty because you don’t agree with someone. If you want the place to feel friendly and inviting, don’t do that.
Well said.
There is a feature in Discourse that tries to gently remind you about this when you reply to the same person in a topic {x} times in a row, but I believe @stusser disabled it here.
Also just to amplify on that, as much as Tom doesn’t “get” what moderation is in my humble opinion, I’ve often quoted one of his schism-era writings:
Here is something I’ve never articulated because I thought, perhaps naively, it was understood:
The priority for participating on this forum is not the quality of the content. I ultimately don’t care how smart or funny or observant you are. Those are plusses, but they’re never prerequisites. The priority is on how you treat each other. I expect spats, arguments, occasional insults, and even inevitable grudges. We’ve all done that. But in the end, I expect you to act like a group of friends who care about each other, no matter how dumb some of us might be, no matter what political opinions some of us hold, no matter what games some of us like or dislike. This community is small enough, intimate enough, that I feel it’s a reasonable expectation.
The vision is clear, and true. Whether we act on it, and how we act on it, is up to us.
To me, if you belong to an online community you should at least treat people like you would the friend of a friend. You don’t have to like them, but you do have to treat them politely if you want to remain friends with your friend.
What a lovely way to put it. Well said!
Yeah, that is pretty good. Neat formulation.
Totally agreed.
We need a way to force new members to complete an exit survey if they just sign up, browse for a day and never come back. Maybe contract with Google or something to serve up survey Adwords on evety site they visit until they finally complete said survey.
Another option could be to require new users to link their Facebook profiles so we could post said surveys to their FB wall.
A couple of footie sites I hang out on have a pinned, “welcome new members introductions” thread at the top of the biggest sub category (games in our case). I seem to recall we had something similar with a 'who are you, what do you do?" kind of thing which was neat. But for a welcome thread make it as non invasive as possible, more like “what kind of stuff are you into?” rather than a a “who are you?” kind of vibe.
Anyway a welcome thread might strike the right tone.
Actually, a “What are you into?” thread would be pretty nice (better than a “tell us about yourself” thing). Like if someone new shows up who’s really into Hearthstone, but they look around and don’t see Hearthstone anywhere near the top of Games, maybe they leave thinking no one else likes Hearthstone.
But if someone new shows up, and they say they like Hearthstone, we can tell them that the Hearthstone thread needs a little love and point them in the right direction and maybe ping a few other people who are into it.
“What are you into?”
“My Little Pony.”
“GTFO, omg!”
“Hey, that isn’t nice, we welcome everybody here! And besides, I like My Little Pony. Pony Power!”
"Yay, another Brony! Now I can tell all my friends we’re all welcome to get our Pony on at Qt3!
“This is ridiculous, you guys are creeps! Tooooooooooom, make them stop!”
“Sorry if I offended anybody with my sexuality, I guess I’ll just go somewhere less hateful!”
“See, you guys are terrible, there was nothing wrong with that guy. This is why we’ll always be stuck with old white guys and nobody else more interesting.”
“But I am an old white guy, I just happen to enjoy My Little Pony. I’ve been a Brony since before we even had a name.”
“Are we absolutely sure Tom wants Bronies in his living room? I don’t feel safe around them.”
“Oh my god, you are over-reacting. I’ve known several well-respected, successful people that led secret double lives as Bronies, and none of them have ever so much as farted a rainbow in my direction. I don’t feel comfortable being around a pervasive, close-minded group-think-tank like you.”
“Hey guys, I’m new. I Googled ‘cool places for Bronies to get their Pony on’, and Qt3 showed up as my 107th hit. So obviously I had to rush right down and make an account. What are the rules about posting NSFW cosplay, if you’re cool with that?”
“Welcome! I think many of us would be cool with that, but maybe Tom would have a better answer for you, since it’s his living room.”
“Great, who’s Tom?”
The introduction thread is a pretty good idea. We kind of let that old one fall to the wayside.
I don’t post here often, but I visit most days and love reading all the threads. I really love learning about everyone here. I contribute a little bit of money to Tom and the site, as I feel that this place is perhaps the nicest one on the internet. And I say this as our resident conservololbertarian!
I love learning about everyone, too. In fact, perhaps my favorite podcasts are when @tomchick has a podcast with a forum member and they just get to know each other. I remember about dying laughing when I was hiking, alone, by some unnamed lakes one summer, and I learned about @jpinard and his hobbies. Seriously nearly killed me!
I consider myself very blessed to have such entertainment for free, and so many hours of things do listen to and read.
Anyway, not much to add. Maybe I should post more. COL.
(clarification: I’m not a brony, even if I find MLP:FIM fun to watch. But I loved what @kerzain wrote and no other reply would be (in)appropriate enough)
This is a great idea. A thread for each sub-forum to allow users to tell us about their interests in that sub-forum. I love this idea. It would have be pinned to work though, so @tomchick would have to sign off on it.
Wait, one can admit to finding MLP:FIM fun to watch and not be considered a brony? That is excellent news, because I’m wife teases me all the time when I end up watching it with my kids (and continue to watch it after they wonder off…)
Heh. I don’t know. If enjoying MLP:FIM means being a brony, than I guess I’d be one. But if being a brony means enjoying MLP:FIM and making that a big part of your identity (or the lens by which you see everything else), than I’m most certainly not a brony.
Actually, that applies to other labels too. If being a gamer means playing and enjoying games, sure, I am a gamer. If it means making games a big part of your identity, well, I’m not sure I would call myself a gamer (or want to call myself that).
And I just realized I sound like Twilight Sparkle now. Guilty as charged. ;)
Jeez, Twilight Sparkles is such a Mary Sue. Pinkie Pie for Life!
And yet they are friends! Friendship is truly magic. And welcoming!
