This thread is hysterical, in a great way.
I really hope this sort of playthrough becomes a tradition here.
I really hope games that good stay the tradition from Mohawk!
[mm, probably challenged English in an idiom’s world, sorry]
Yup, Tom totally earned my Patron donation with this thread.
I’m still laughing.
@Velociryx , you should add this forum/thread to your list of web resource for learning OW.
A new marriage proposal arrives from…Babylon? Okay, I’m always happy to improve relations with our stronger and wiser neighbors to the west. Let’s check out what they’re offering:
*record scratch*
Oh dear, there seems to have been a mistake. You see, the King of Carthage is already married to a woman riding around on top of an enormous war elephant. It probably wouldn’t be wise to piss her off.
“Wait, wait, hold on a sec,” King Mike_Cathcart interrupts. “We can probably come to an understanding. Let’s check the math.”
Sure enough, taking a second wife is only a -40 opinion hit. Which would mean Queen Balasarius’ opinion would drop to +210, which is still well above the threshold for Friendly. And little did we know, the Old World interface has room for multiple spouses!
It’s My Two Queens, the rollicking new family sitcom from Carthago Productions! Tune in to find out what happens when a Numidian princess and a Babylonian architect marry the same man! One of them is a fierce elephant warrior who won’t take any guff! The other is fresh off the boat from Babylon and looking to make some Improvements! Together, they’re going to make life wacky for everyone’s favorite king:
Critics are calling My Two Queens “the funniest thing since General Triggercut’s Korean war joke”!
Tune in at an odeon near you!
-Tom
Only a 40 point hit, I can’t believe I passed on the opportunity to take a second wife a couple of games ago. Still I predict this won’t be an entirely friendly relationship down the line.
The nice thing about Mohawk having female CEO, from Lebanon, is that anyone bitching about how sexist this is can take up with Lelya.
General Easytarget’s chariot runs down some Thracians while everyone cheers him on!
The nearest city, Grenyes Valley, gets wind of his exploits and implements permanent Easytargetmania!
King Mike_Cathcart looks on sullenly. “I killed some dudes, too,” he mutters. “How come I didn’t get a Triumph?”
Just then, more cheering as General AK_Icebear leads his axeman over the fallen bastion walls!
King Mike_Cathcart chooses the third option: “Their glory is simply a reflection of my own.”
King Mike_Cathcart is no longer cowardly because, to hear him tell it, he personally stormed the bastion walls of the Thracian settlement. He later takes the slighted General AK_Icebear aside and explains that he had to do it for the sake of Carthage’s training income.
-Tom
This whole thing is cracking me up.
There are many reasons to keep courtiers around. The first is that they can lead your armies, govern your cities, and serve as ambassadors (a.k.a agents) to foreign cities, regardless of their archetype. For instance, governors have to be Builders, Orators, Judges, Diplomats, or Scholars. But if you get a courtier with good stats, go ahead and make her a Governor regardless of her archetype! Have a Schemer, Zealot, Judge, Hero, Commander, or Tactician as a governor. So long as she’s a courtier, it doesn’t matter. The same is true for generals and agents. Courtiers are uniquely flexible.
But the other great reason to have courtiers is that you can pay them to tutor your kids, boosting their stats while they’re at the the impressionable age of 10 to 18. No courtiers available? Oh well, I guess your heir will be shaped by random events. Fingers crossed!
Sadly, we don’t have any courtiers while Princess Ooomalley is growing up. So she gets whatever Princess School gives her. And sometimes that means a frenemy:
Princess Ooomalley is 17. She has a charisma of 1, a discipline of 1, and an everything else of zero. We can throw some money at this event to boost her stats, but we’re currently saving our money for a party.
So we’ll take the third option, which gives her a point of wisdom and another point of discipline. She is now:
Our choice also gives her a strength called Humble, which she learns from her rivalry with SadleyBradley. Hopefully, it will serve her well when she takes the throne, and we’ll look back one day and think, “Thanks, SadleyBradley, for making the Queen of Carthage a better person.”
No word yet what archetype Princess Ooomalley will be. We’ll find out when she graduates from Princess School next year.
Meanwhile, let’s send her younger brother Misguided out into the wider world to have some adventures.
These can lead to some fun events. Get on out there, Misguided. Don’t forget to write!
-Tom
This week on My Two Queens:
(To be fair, Balararius and Sinnick are both bitter. You’d think that would bring them closer.)
-Tom
Next week, on My Two Queens, King Mike_Cathcart raids Queen Balasarius’ wardrobe for fancy to clothes to give his buddy Moss_icon. What will Queen Sinnick think? Wackiness ensues! Don’t miss it! Only on My Two Queens!
-Tom
Or, like, crack open just about any old history book.
I wonder if Queens can activate MULTISPOUSE? Probably?
Uh-oh!
Fortunately, My Two Queens is a sitcom, so King Mike_Cathcart’s Gracious trait puts him in the Honorable category. He smooths everything over and we’re reset to zero for next week’s episode!
-Tom
The second paragraph there in that dialog is awesome. Totally dripping with personality, I feel like I know the Queen better now.
OH, haven’t tuned in today and come to see the latest and discover I’ve cover myself in a bit of glory!
This btw was playing on an ancient version of a boombox in my chariot:
Staring daggers. That is some prime scorn. I just found this thread, and it is awesome.
What a stroke of genius to use forum names! Not only is it funny, but it makes things easier to follow. I’m genuinely curious about the fate of Misguided. And I have a clear picture in my mind of the mighty Mountains of BrianRubin. They reach into the heavens!
And then there’s the ever-present thought of what could your namesake end up as? A courtesan? A goatherd? A swamp? The possibilities are as intriguing as they are endless.
