Most of the games you have cited absolutely cared about min/maxing “to this degree”. It’s just that they had mechanically different (and typically “less intensive”) systems. That means the caring looks different. But it doesn’t necessarily mean they cared less. If you wanted to play a smooth talker in Fallout you still catered to that with progression choices, you know? Also DA:O contains the least thematic and therefor most min/maxy single mechanic ever (the “spend a precious skill point to get the AI stuff lulz!”, what fucking garbage).
Pillars’ system is very weird, and it’s certainly far from my favorite. It’s my least favorite BIS/Troika/Obsidian system that wasn’t D&D. I do like it better than all of Bioware’s post D&D systems, but that’s a low bar. I think the move scale abilities on power level will actually alleviate some of the weirdness. But we’ll see I guess? I would prefer something that’s more, hmmm, OSR (or 0e/1e D&D if you prefer) certainly. Never 2e. Although I wonder if you ever got a good look at 3.5e; it put the 2e to shame.
Pathfinder was never worse than 3.5e. But like 3.5e, it went sort of crazy with all the expansion books. They don’t add crunchiness per se. Just pure cheese.