Protatoes, the food of the future

Indian scientists genetically alter potatoes to produce essential proteins for humans!

Transgenic tubers displayed a 35-60 percent increase in protein content, including a significant increase in the amino acids lacking in wild-type potatoes. When transgenic plants were moved from the greenhouse to the field, a moderate increase (15-25 percent) in tuber yield was observed. Since AmA1 is a seed storage protein, one of its normal roles is to deplete free amino acids, which causes an increase in photosynthesis. Ama1 performed the same role here; transgenic plants had an increased rate of photosynthesis, and therefore growth.

In contrast to other genes used to increase the protein content of crops, such as Brazil nut 2S albumin, soybean glycinin, and sunflower seed albumin, amaranth albumin 1 is nonallergenic. Moreover, the scientists note, “the samples of transgenic tubers were found to be nonirritating to the vaginal mucous membrane of rabbits.” (Thank goodness.)

I’d love to know how you find the degree of vaginal irritation a rabbit is experiencing. Is there a questionnaire you have to get it to complete?

Just so I’m clear, scientists are developing genetically modified vegetables and sticking them up rabbit vagoos. Gotcha.

And apparently the rabbits don’t mind, or so the scientists have observed.

Do they retain their nutritional value if you boil or mash them, or stick them in a stew?

Nope. In order to extract all the nutrients, you have to stick them up your hoohah.

Doesn’t boiling/excess heating denature proteins? (IANAB)

PRO TAY TOES

I’m worried that consumers will confuse this with my own genetically altered food product, brotatoes.

We’ve been testing them on urethras with good results.

Not likely (in any nutritionally significant sense), or else the rather large part of the world’s population that doesn’t eat raw meat or fish would have died of malnutrition already.

Plus the lo-carb version, faux-tatoes.

Brotatoes?

It’s Manspuds!

Transgenic tubers displayed a 35-60 percent increase in protein content, including a significant increase in the amino acids lacking in wild-type potatoes. When transgenic plants were moved from the greenhouse to the field, a moderate increase (15-25 percent) in tuber yield was observed. Since AmA1 is a seed storage protein, one of its normal roles is to deplete free amino acids, which causes an increase in photosynthesis. Ama1 performed the same role here; transgenic plants had an increased rate of photosynthesis, and therefore growth.

In contrast to other genes used to increase the protein content of crops, such as Brazil nut 2S albumin, soybean glycinin, and sunflower seed albumin, amaranth albumin 1 is nonallergenic. Moreover, the scientists note, “the samples of transgenic tubers were found to be nonirritating to the vaginal mucous membrane of rabbits.” (Thank goodness.)

Was very much on board until that last part. Nourishing crops like this is potentially very good news for areas that can support only limited agriculture, to say nothing of providing more alternatives for lifestyles devoid of meat.

Do they have electrolytes?

Lo-tatoes, the low-carb variant.
Mo-tatoes - the high calorie variant.
No-tatoes - the sugar free, caffeine free, fat free, variant.
Yo-tatoes - ?? I just like the word

Can’t wait to see how PETA handles this story.

Why should they do anything but praise the invention of a non-irritating Protatoes?

I look forward to the dog days of food-engineering when the invention of the sugar-free/lo-fat/low sodium version of the potato is announced as the healthy alternative to the much more popular bacontato.

Because at some point the developers of the Protatoe may have somehow infringed upon the karmic rights of a bunny rabbit, which is to say, all bunny rabbits, which is to say, they have raped every single living being and are criminals on a level that even Goebbels would be ashamed of.