Quitting Coffee Tomorrow

Looking for advice, tips, etc. This will be my second attempt of the year. I drink the equivalent of two Venti Starbucks a day, often more, rarely less. Headaches usually kick in around 10 a.m. when I go without. I’ve let my team know they should plan on me being irritable this week, and to punch me in the face if they see me within five feet of a cup of coffee.

Drink iced tea or something else with caffeine in it to mitigate the withdrawal headaches.

Do you want to kick just coffee or do you want to kick caffeine?

Try cutting down, like maybe a short cappuccino instead.

Just progressively replace your supply with decaf and quit over a period of time.

Start drinking tea. According to Alton Brown

Tea doesn’t contain as much caffeine as coffee, but it does contain polyphenols. And poly-phenols help what caffeine is in tea absorb slowly into the system which is why tea drinkers get a longer lasting but gentler lift, if you get my meaning.

Por que?! Pooor quuuueee?!?!

Don’t do it! Coffee is your life blood!

Read a layman’s explanation of why caffeine withdrawal feels the way it does. It’s easier to rationalize the headaches/crankiness if you have some mythological medical explanation to fall back on.

When you stop drinking coffee, judge floro’s elves creep into your brain via your anus and proceed to kick the living fuckweasels out of your medulla oblongata. Somewhere in between the vomiting and defecation this engenders, your brain develops arms and legs, and thence engages in a rollicking brawl with said elves.

The whole affair ends in awkward sex – almost as awkward as that time with your mother in the back of a Volkswagen in '76 outside the Led Zepplin concert that she never told you about.

So, remember kids, drink your coffee or elves will mindfuck you.

Remember that part in Temple of Doom when Indy’s writhing on the slab after drinking the blood of Kali? Caffeine withdrawal headaches are like that times 0.14.

No-one quits coffee. Coffee is the foundation upon which your mansion of hope is built. What happens when you remove that foundation? Your world collapses into a sinkhole of despair. And decaffeinated substitute.

As someone who quit caffine in any form for 8 months, I totally agree with this post.

As I read this, I’m on my second cup. Mmmmmmmm.

Latte with double shot here. yum!

I drink one cup a day, in the morning.

I drink one cup an hour, in the morning (midday and afternoon and sometimes in the evening… then I quit and switch to CCZ or water). Sweet sweet caffeine.

I had the opportunity to interview for a Grad School slot with Dr. Barry Smith, one of the world’s foremost researchers into caffeine, health, and well-being. In order to prepare, I spent some time reading the book he’d edited most recently, chock full of interesting research on caffeine, caffeine withdrawal, and the health risks associated with caffeine.

I’ll summarize the main findings:

  1. The optimal amount of coffee per day for both physical and psychological well-being is 2 cups.
  2. There is no evidence of a physiological basis for “caffeine withdrawal”.
  3. Percolator brewed coffee is healthier than French Press.

I’m not much of a coffee drinker, I personally prefer tea, but if you’re quitting for health reasons, you may want to have a look at the book linked above.

Dwarves!! LUIS is not a pansy elf.

No kidding – LUIS will fuck you up, you do not want to piss him off.