One must also consider the ketchup level.
Something I wrote on a different forum, yet again.
Hi. My name is Rich. And I love McDonald’s Hash Browns. I’m so sorry… I know it’s wrong… But if they are done right, they are sublime. If I didn’t care at all about my health, (and I do oh yeah I really do) I’d do what the author says he does. I’d go in and get a huge bag of fresh, hot, overly salted Hash Browns. I’d eat them right there at the counter. And I wouldn’t ask the bastards behind the counter for ketchup. Oh, fuck no. I wouldn’t beg them for those little packets of ketchup that they dole out like iodine pills after World War 3. I’d come in with my own half liter jug of Heinz baby! And it would be a NEW jug. And I’d hold up the line as I opened the annoying little seal on the bottle. At the same speed that a grandmother counts change from her tiny purse.
Then I’d spread the Glorious Hash Browns, still steaming from the robot fryer, on the filthy counter. And I’d squirt half of the bottle of ketchup all over them.
And I’d EAT THEM. I’d revel in the look of fear and loathing of the people around me. I’d be eating them and I’d scream, “These are fucking awesome!” And flecks of potato and ribbons of ketchup would fly from my lips.
The young manager of the store would be holding a phone. Probably very close to dialing 911. But the majesty of my gluttony would have shocked them into speechlessness.
And then I would throw a wad of crumpled bills on the counter. Some wadded up. Perhaps some would roll off of the counter? Some would stick in the ketchup.
I would say, wiping my hands and face fastidiously, with wads of napkins ripped from the annoyingly overfilled dispensers.
“Thanks. I’m lovin’ it.”
For yet another year, I feel a little pang of guilt for not being very, er, directive with my notes. I will enjoy and appreciate whatever is sent! Promise!
(If it’s a bunch of McDonald’s hash browns, I’ll gush over them and tag Rich).
That’s optimistic if you eat McDo every day.
A person’s colon should not have to endure that daily quantity of greasy potatoes. Well unless you never want to need to use toilet paper again.
Why do you make that sound like a bad thing in the Cursed Year of 2020, friend?
Oh boy, here is a gift ornament for everyone’s tree.
https://www.amazon.com/Personalized-Quarantine-Christmas-Grandkids-Co-Workers/dp/B08FCHF2YQ/
I feel bad for having given no guidance to my Santa, and not much (err, nothing?) in the way of interesting postings to help. I’ll try to leave a few more breadcrumbs :-)
Wait a minute I didn’t order anything this month from Miniat… ohhhhhhhh! :)
Gonna be a looooong wait!
IT BEGINS!
Also, I cameo’ed!
I haven’t even opened my Secret Santa email from Fire yet. D:
When is the sending gifts deadline? Like the week before Christmas right?
Just remember that due to that whole pandemic thing, everything is going to be so much slower this year. I hope a lot of folks are taking that into consideration, mostly for the kids. Adults can handle a day or two late.
Didn’t realize we had that many kids on the forum, let alone ones that are taking part in Secret Santa!
Dear @Chris_Gwinn: Santa says one package will arrive with UPS soon. There is a message on the outside of the box (“do not open before opening week”) and the stuff inside is not wrapped.
Another package will ship soon and should arrive next week or so.
A gentle reminder from your Santa that you owe us all some breadcrumbs! If you’d like, you can PM or e-mail me and I can pass along the info to your Santa.
