SETI@home lunatic - "Contact by 2025"

This is why I burn my spare CPU cycles on finding a cure for cancer instead of SETI@home:

Some fun facts from the article:

  1. First contact by 2025, providing there is intelligent life and provided that intelligent life inhabits 10% of the universe and intelligent life is “primitive” enough to still use radio signals. Rest assured, though, that SETI founder Seth Shonstak insists that this prediction has been made with all conformity to “the intention to improve upon existing ‘gut feeling’ speculation”.

  2. Seth Shostak also believes that our first contact will be with the Borg: “super-intelligent machines – machines capable of reproducing themselves that have come to dominate their planets. They may view biological life forms much as humans view domestic pets or wildlife.”

  3. These hyperintelligent space robots will also most likely be bloodthirsty killers out to plunder our planet, murder our children and rape the ethinicity out of our savage women. "Humans should hope the first encounter with aliens will be long-distance, Shostak suggested… “I would be very leery of visitors, to be honest,” he said. “There would be few reasons for aliens to appear. Ask yourself, why did Pizarro visit the Incas?”

  4. Despite the fact that Shostak has just predicted that flesh eating, rapist robots from beyond the moon will destroy all of human civilization by 2025, SETI will soon get its own dedicated telescope to help call these robots’ attention to earth (with the help of the internet community) as soon as humanly possible.

There are some choice quotes in that article from other experts, who use the adjective “respected” to refer to their colleage so acidicly that it is hard to imagine exactly how many eye-roll emoticons would be necessary to convey that level of contempt if their comments were posted on a public forum.


Our only hope is to build robots of our own. Robots that can push and shove. Pushing and shoving will protect us from the TERRIBLE SECRET OF SPACE.

Wow! Now the terrible secret of space is funny all of a sudden! Thanks Sam!

Don’t we already have robots that can push and shove? Aren’t they called bulldozers?

Go stand at the top of the stairs.

I’m not sure about robot bulldozers but we do have Doozers with bulldozers.

This is, of course, assuming that our very own Earth-built robots dont go crazy and enslave humanity first. ;)

  • Alan

Perhaps space robots emerge from huge SETI computer networks. You know, like Skynet.

Do not listen to dannimal, he is malfunctioning.

I think Qt3 is part of the insidious plan. I mean, a “Submit” button? What’s up with that?

He is 22 years late in his estimate. They are already here. Brian Koontz has landed.

Holy shit, I had to look twice at your name after reading that… for a moment I thought you were John Dvorak.

… intelligent robots that will be our first contact? w00t… the Matrix is real The Matrix is REEEAALL!!!