Some "Secret" Society You Are!

Today’s email:

" Greetings From The Illuminati Order. Bringing the poor, the needy and the talented to the limelight of fame, riches, power and security.

Do you want to change your life completely for good and wish to be rich and successful in your business? Are you talented and wish to be famous? Do you want to be protected spiritually and physically? All these and more you will get in a twinkle of an eye when you join the great Illuminati brotherhood. As a new member, you are also entitled to a financial grant. Do you agree to be a member of the Illuminati New World order? Send YES! to the E-mail: [email protected]

For more instructions on our membership process.

The Illuminati."

I’d join but my work with the Elders of Zion keeps me busy.

I feel like you’re walking away from a potentially life changing thing right there. I mean we all know the Illuminati are behind everything that goes on.

I will say this though, you know times are tight when the Illuminati has opened up an email based recruitment campaign. And at least use something respectable, like Salesforce Pardot or Mailchimp. I thought it wasn’t but a few years ago they threw extravagant parties at remote mansions and you got an invite but were required to wear a mask so that other members could keep their identities secret, especially during the sex orgy party of the initiation. Now we have a lackluster email recruitment campaign?

At least it isn’t the Gnomes of Zurich. Or maybe…it is.


I use Hotmail! Maybe I’m an illuminati?

Hotmail is the perfect cover. Like the symbols on the Dollar bills, it’s right there in plain sight yet no one would believe it. Genius.

It’s only Illuminati if it’s from the Bavaria region? Otherwise it’s Lightbulb Owners but in Latin?

It’s legit. I already responded to it, and the guy was all, Adept JMJ, it’s always nice to hear from you, but this e-mail is for new recruits, not existing adepts. And I was all, like, what are you wearing?

My Microsoft account that I use daily is @hotmail. I also have the same username and I continue to use the hotmail one because it got grandfathered way back when they did the first round of restricting what you get for free from skydrive and the like.

I still use my @me account, even though it began as @mac, and now it’s technically @icloud now.

Same. I also have the same account name for yahoo mail and Gmail, again, made when those services were but nothing at the time. My wife asked me how I got my email address once and my reply was: be a geek. I mean, it’s true, we were the first to hear about those services.

I got an email from the Elders of Zion telling me about changes in their privacy policy, but I didn’t understand it. Maybe this is how your email got shared to the Illuminati.

Whats weird is I got an almost identical email to one in the OP, but from some group called “The Parallax Corporation”. I just marked it as spam.

I got an email from Spam. I marked it as Illuminati.

An actual thing you can buy: An IlluminatiCat Bag!

Also, a brief documentary (Hey, I could have posted an 8-hour David Icke presentation):