What I dont get is why do people feel the need to come stand like right next to you when there are like 400 empty ones around? Then they sometimes talk!
" Everything coming out ok?"
“heh”
[Note to self. Send 10 bucks to CRAZY EYES.]
I only seem to have trouble at urinals when the restroom is really quiet. If there’s music or something, it’s alright. And I don’t get the guys who choose the urinal right next to mine instead of one of the many open ones, either. It’s not that I’m self-concious or anything, but really, if I had the choice of pissing right next to another dude or not, I’d tend to choose not.
I do have bad memories of “the trough” in jr. high. For reasons unknown, my school installed these large, bathtub-shaped urine receptacles in the guys’ locker rooms instead of normal urinals. As a rather awkward teenager, there’s just something not right about standing literally elbow to elbow with your friends while you pee. Of course, there were always those idiots who thought it was funny to act like they were going to piss on everyone else, which would usually cause someone to jump and, well, chaos ensued.
There’s a trough near the media room at E3. That thing freaks me out.
Do people (I mean, guys, unless women do this to you too) really do that to you a lot? That’s pretty rare for me. I hate going into a bathroom and it has three urinals, one of which is built for children or midgets I guess, since it’s 1 foot off the ground. So, do I piss in the Lollypop Kids urinal, or take the middle one right next to ranvarian?
What are the two words you never want to hear in a men’s room?
“Nice dick.”
As an horrific side note: coming back from Lake Tahoe, I had to take a monster dump. I was set to hold it, but my flight was delayed. I could not wait, and I had to shit in an airport bathroom. Oh, the indignity, the emotional scars. Fortunately, Reno/Tahoe airport is a clean, cozy little place. I used the handicap shitter too, figuring I qualify due to my phobia.
I still see those giant urinals that go all the way to the floor, mostly in concert venues and such. As far as I can tell there’s no possible way, short of hanging from the ceiling, to avoid splashback with those. You’d think that maybe you can get just the right angle, but I think it just ends up making you look a little strange.
You need to use all three dimensions, buddy. Piss to the left or to the right. Heck, cross someone else’s stream. :-)
Thereby splashing the man next to you. Talk about getting into a pissing match…
Egon: There’s something very important I forgot to tell you.
Peter: What?
Egon: Don’t cross the streams.
Peter: Why?
Egon: It would be bad.
Peter: I’m fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean bad?
Egon: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
You need to use all three dimensions, buddy. Piss to the left or to the right. Heck, cross someone else’s stream. :-)[/quote]
Oh man, I was reading this thread peacefully, laughing away to myself until I read that. I don’t have a problem with urinals, big or small. I don’t have a problem with someone standing next to me and I’ve had many a drunken chat with a complete stranger while doing the business (although I rarely intiate the conversation), but if someone beside me decides it’s ok to cross the streams then he’s just overstepped the mark by a country mile. I’d probably start a fight over something like that - I definitely would if he splashed me. Jesus, that doesn’t even bear thinking about.
Dave Barry also did a classic bit on urinal etiquette. Sorry, no linky.