STAR WARS Episode X - A New Rey of Hope

Ugh. Driver good. Ren bad. Let him rest.

Uggh, so over Force Ghost. Surprised we haven’t gotten a Force ghost spinoff with all our old favorites.

I’m curious to see how they’ll retcon at least parts of RoS (they have to, right?). For one, I seriously hope she will never be called “Skywalker” in the new movie. God that movie was dumb. Master Rey is fine!

This explains the jump in Rey’s force powers from episode 7 thru episode 9.

“know’s”? And Yoda saying straight phrases? That’s low effort. Like Episode 9, I guess.


Yoda: “Know everything, she does.”

Luke: “Noooooooooooo! But how Master Yoda? I tried so hard in my Jedi training to lea-”

Yoda: “Loot or do not. There is no try.”

Other option:

Yoda: “More powerful than you’ll ever be, she is.”
Luke: “Loot boxes really make that big of a difference? I can’t believe it!”
Yoda: “That is why you fail.”

I know y’all are just ribbing a scene I don’t even remember from the last movie, but Yoda Speech™ is one of the things that, ironically, even George Lucas lost sight of. I guess that’s not surprising, since he forgot how to write dialogue generally, but in Yoda’s case, the wider culture seems to have missed the point.

When Luke first crash lands on Degobah, Yoda pretends to be some silly forest creature to test him. This is when we get the bulk of inverted syntax, as in “Away put your weapon, I mean you no harm!” The moment he breaks character, addressing Obi-Wan, his syntax becomes substantially closer to normal. “I cannot teach him.” / “He is too old! Yes, too old to begin the training.”

Flash forward a few decades, and it’s all “Around the Jedi a barrier create” nonsense. It’s not even self-indulgent. It misses the entire fucking point of why the character spoke that way in the first place.

It’s a lot like the reason why Obi-Wan Kenobi wears Bedouin-style robes in the first movie. He wears them because everyone on Tatooine wears desert garb. It makes sense to blend in with the locals as well as from a purely practical don’t-wanna-overheat-in-the-sun reason. If they were specifically Jedi robes, then Obi-Wan would be in the worst disguise ever.

Poop the party, you have.

My instinct tells me you’re wrong about this Degobah theory. But you’ve given me a good excuse to watch the original trilogy a fifth time to find out and try to prove you right or wrong.

It’s not like he snaps into 100% standard syntax, but it’s a pretty stark tonal shift in his presentation. He goes from deliberate, deceptively bumbling critter to wise sage quite suddenly, and it is very much intended that way.

That’s my mind blown for the day.

Holy shit, I can’t believe I never picked up on this.

Seriously, check the diction:

Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship.

Not even close to the total backwards shit he did in other films.

It’s still in there, but it’s more at the level of a second language speaker. Whereas when he first rolls up on Luke, he’s straight up trolling his punk ass.