Why is it so much easier for girls? Is it because there are less girls on these sites? Is it just because guys are socially obligated to “hunt” them, so they get to sit back and take their pick? I feel like the odds are better stacked in dudes’ favor in real life. I know it’s going to be hard to meet my dream girl on the internet, so I’m just trying to get on some dates to help get over shyness and feel better about approaching and holding a conversation with random women.
Also, it’s Friday night. Get on there and start checking your matches for whoever is “Online Now.”
But if a non-response is a response, that means that it is a response. But it is not a response, because it is the absence of a response. It is a response… not a response…
Norman, co-ordinate, Norman, co-ordinate…
BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP
::burning circuitry::
::smoke::
::dead::
Fewer. And yes.
This is what a smart woman told me. I merely accepted it without thinking too hard. ;-)
And is it really easier for girls? I think it’s just different.
Don’t you know that it’s different for girls?
Damn you, Rubin. Now I’ve got to go listen to Joe Jackson.
It’s not easier. They get so inundated with effectively worthless spam that it’s quite possible to have worthwhile contact opportunities drop through the cracks. 99% of the people contacting them have no redeeming qualities other than being nominally human.
It’s just different.
Eh, I was busy last night. I did just get a response from a girl that I messaged last week. Our interests seem to match up very similarly, yet our OKCupid question matches are low enough that the title on that bar is “Y’all got issues” rather than “The Two of Us”, which I have never seen before. Color me intrigued.
Like that’s a bad thing. :P
Yeah, that’s true actually. I can only imagine the garbage they have to wade through to find someone worth dating. Actually makes me feel a little better about my chances. Being a relatively normal and decent guy, I have to have some kind of leg-up on all the real scumbags that are surely out there.
Yeah, some guys wreck it for everyone else by carpet bombing every girl on the site with a generic message and then getting pissed they don’t get more bites.
Wait till you have a few dates with women that are just looking for a free meal. It took me a full year and a dozen or so first dates to find someone who seems to like me. Sure she has a few more cats than I would like but hey.
So… go dutch on the first date?
Or how about a potluck?
Wouldn’t it be easier if a first date was just coffee?
Yeah a meal is just too formal for a first date with someone you barely know. If the correspondence has been heavy beforehand, then dinner might be suitable enough, especially if it’s at a place serving food that you both know you enjoy. Otherwise it’s full of potential situations that may make someone feel like they’re being forced to be formal.
That’s not a hard rule by any means, though. What is a hard rule, however, is no movie dates. Fuck that jazz. I know it’s been discussed before but for Delirium’s sake, no movie date.
I’m new to the thread and I have questions; if anyone would be so good as to get me up to speed I’d be grateful.
About me: male, 44, currently ‘separated’ (living out of my own place since Feb.). To my mind the only possible outcome is divorce but we haven’t actually said the D word yet. Anyways…
What are the better sites that people (and maybe people closer to my age) seem to like a lot? I’m seeing OK Cupid mentioned. What about Match.com or E-Harmony and others?
I’m completely new to this but I did hear about someting called DinnerDate.com on the radio and have signed up. I think it’s fairly new to my area (Greater San Diego) which may or may not be a plus. But I’m seeing more and more new and interesting profiles every day; have fired off several “I’m interested” notices to potential women and gotten a couple in return. The set up is that, while I can use the site to message individual women, I’m going to sign up for a group dinner date event (they also do happy hours and brunches) at some point where I can introduce myself in person to multiple members who potentially are ones that I was interested in to begin with. Or that’s the theory.
Anyways, in catching up with the past few pages of this thread, I guess my main concern is with setting up my profile in such a way that I’m not making any huge gaffes. The question I’m most leery about answering at the moment is my current relationship status. Typically people are ‘single’ or ‘divorced’, maybe ‘widowed’. Should I basically admit to being, at present, separated or should I make the logical leap to ‘divorced’? Or leave blank, or ‘ask me about it’ or ‘it’s complicated’, etc. It’s in me to be honest to a fault but I don’t want to make a terrible first impression. Am I over-reacting?
I don’t think you’re overreacting, but I also don’t think you need to think that deeply about it in order to take the first steps of getting messages out there and trying to make connections. The interest should be in taking steps to start a friendship, if that happens then the issue of separation/divorce will be more easily accepted by you and her… unless of course you have doubts about whether you will stay separated or get back together again (that’s a personal issue you don’t have to bring up, and I have no knowledge of anyways so perhaps someone else has more relevant experience for you).
Match.com seems OK. No idea what DinnerDate.com is, but there’s no harm in exposure. e-Harmony gets a bad rap due to their discriminatory practices, but I’ve answered their personality profile as a very liberal atheist and had no problem “getting in” as it were, though I never paid for or used it.
The fact that OKC is free basically means it’s a no brainer to use it and check in with it. Answering questions can also be a pretty fun activity for when you’re bored, and before you know it you’ve spent an evening discovering things about yourself you may not have even known simply by rating how important things are to you.
When I was dating, OKC gave me the best results. :-)