| Title | The absolute dumbest thing you'll see all week: Godzilla vs. Kong |
| Author | Tom Chick |
| Posted in | Movie reviews |
| When | March 31, 2021 |
I don't mean to belittle dumb movies. Some of my favorite movies are dumb. But Godzilla vs. Kong is steeped in a special kind of concentrated studio inanity. It stinks of dumb. It is the most profoundly stupid "vs." movie since Batman vs. Superman..
Adam Wingard peaked long ago, it seems.
Within a week, it will disappear into a black hole of forgettably vapid studio product.
Poster quote.
Wow, you made this movie sound about twice as awesome as I thought it would be. And it will be on a streaming service I’m already paying for, so win/win!
I thought the last movie was dumb as rocks. This review does not bode well for my viewing of this film.
Sounds like it’ll be worth every penny I’ll be spending on it.
TLDR: “…the CG sequences are thrilling enough”.
Yeah, it’s hard to top A Horrible Way To Die, or You’re Next. But I really liked The Guest, and there are a couple of cool twists in his Blair Witch reboot.
Certainly the human stuff was. But the monster stuff in Godzilla: King of the Monsters was aces, and the CG sequences were all really well done. It even got me interested in checking out the earlier Godzilla movies, which I’d never been interested in before. It felt like it was made by someone who really cared about the monsters, despite the dumb script about a bereaved family and a monster voicebox McGuffin.
-Tom
If you want your argument to go well, don’t mention that there is “hot lady villain in a tight outfit”. All those words written before and after that have no effect on me whatsoever. Seeing this!!! /s
Played by the lovely young woman from Baby Driver and I Care A Lot!
-Tom
I confess that I liked this. I’m a sucker for a good loop.
One thing for sure,Tom spent a lot more time writing his review of this turd than I did watching it. I didn’t make it through 15 minutes.
I’m a heathen, I know, but I liked his Blair Witch sequel (it’s a sequel, not a reboot) better than the original, if only because I didn’t like the original very much and I agree that his had some cool time stuff.
This is all I need from these kinds of movies. Especially for free.
I’ll take more, of course, but never expect more.
ATTENTION: KING KONG JUST FOUND A MAGIC AXE
It was big and dumb but I had fun.
I have been watching Star Trek Discovery season one (finally) all day beforehand so Godzilla vs Kong was a nice turn off my brain interlude between great LORCA!
They don’t “hack” the computer by pouring a drink in it, they make it crash, which somehow stuns Mechagodzilla.
The movie is dumb as fuck, otherwise. Just this bit is not as dumb as Tom says. There’s other stuff way dumber, like the whole Hollow Earth stuff, or King Kong climbing out of the center of the earth through a shaft that Godzilla burns from topside with his atomic breath.
But that sounds… awesome!
Seriously, it sounds like at least half the people here are trying to talk me out of seeing this movie by telling me how awesome it sounds.
But aren’t you dismayed that this film undermines the precedent for extremely intelligent cinema set by the legacy of 70 years of…
(checks notes)
(checks notes again)
(removes glasses)
(washes glasses)
(puts glasses back on)
(checks notes)
(looks up, confused)
(looks back down at notes)
(sighs)
(checks notes)
…Godzilla movies?