The Goofus and Gallant of game journalism

If you don’t know who Goofus and Gallant are, think good and bad.

Here’s the Goofus, from the Denver Post:,0,36%7E30000%7E2149337,00.html

The dreams and desires of so many people are carefully assembled bit-by-bit, byte-by-byte into the discs and cartridges of the video game world. The games industry is the Matrix where everything that is meaningful is virtual and underneath are dreams of the workers who give it life.

No mas!

Much better, from The Seattle Times:

The graphics look better than they did last year, and the titles have gotten nifty tweaks (like the arm thing). But it still mainly seems like just more of the same. Sequels and movie spinoffs. Shooters, drivers, role-playing. But — and I never imagined a world in which I’d ask this — how many times can you shoot a zombie in the head before it starts getting tiresome?


But I didn’t say they weren’t exciting me. Every inch of these 525,000 square feet is designed to crank the central nervous system into high gear. There’s ear-splitting noise from countless colorful video displays, flashing images of mayhem that would have made young droog Alex in “A Clockwork Orange” consider the country life.

To replicate this at home, have someone lower a large cooking pot over your head, whack the outside of it with a Louisville Slugger, and stick a police light up inside it. Then turn up the thermostat and add 65,000 attendees — a number of them doughy guys with ponytails — to jostle you.

And finally this:

In Nintendo’s area there’s “Donkey Konga.” Players beat little bongos and clap hands in time with music. Buy stock in aspirin now.

Good article. It mentions that 87 of the top 100 games last year were either sequels or tie-ins. Dear god…

Looks like the New Yorker isn’t the only source of smoking jacket and monocle journalism.

Denver Post Poetry Society

Well, I’m not sure about gamers but I am certain that their mother is quite proud of their flowery prose-crafting abilities.

This reminds me of the time I was playing Legend of the Green Dragon with some friends, and Matthew Gallant joined up and crashed the party, and then installed it on planetcrap. So I went to planetcrap and made a character called Matthew Goofus.

Holy shit… planetcrap is still around? Last time I thought of it was, like, 1999.

The Denver Post piece is by David Thomas, who by all rights should know better than to write like that. :(

  • Alan

“How many buddy-cop films are there?” Epstein replies. “How many boy-meets-girl romances are there? Movies are heavily formulaic, and it hasn’t slowed that industry down. I understand your question. It just means you need better explosions and blood when you (shoot the zombies).”

Lowenstein agrees. “Where is the annual breakthrough in film or music? No one complains that these industries are creatively stagnant just because they don’t bring out products that break new ground year in and year out.”

They’re kidding, right?

Why would you ask that?

Two Steins don’t make a wrong.

Interesting article on Gamespot:
Interview with Michael Pachter, “senior vice president of research for investment banking and brokerage firm Wedbush Morgan Securities.”

I think companies are defining the mass market as “stupid people who don’t have any taste” as opposed to “people who are every bit as hardcore as the core but don’t have as much money.” I think that there’s a mix. There are people who just don’t care–who have waited to buy a console because they’re not that hardcore. And there are also a lot of people who care very much but don’t have the budget to buy a console until it gets down to $149. I think the companies are lumping all of the mass market in the former category, “people who don’t care,” who will only get captured by Harry Potter, [even though] there’s a significant number of people in the latter category who want to play the next Grand Theft Auto with the best of them.

Well, I hope he’s right.

I thought Matthew Gallant would be the Gallant of game journalism?

No, wait… he’s the Goofus. :lol:

I enjoyed the lead image of Half-Life 2’s G-Man attached to a “DOOM 3” caption.

Yeah, I noticed that, too, but it says “Half-Life 2” if you enlarge it.