I’ve found it. Click here.
Choice quotes:
This was the moment I’d travelled 6,000 miles and waited my whole career to see.
Words failed me. My body felt exhausted as I relaxed my taught muscles, drained from the tension of watching a game which is re-writing the rule book and making a mockery out of every other first-person shooter I’ve ever seen.
“BREATHLESS
I needed time to catch my breath, but Gabe was keen to push on, every minute precious with Half-Life 2’s shipping date just five months away.”
“MORE, MORE, MORE
I wanted to see more, but first, remembering my journalistic duties, I asked Doug about the weapons and the multiplayer games, but was told that Valve isn’t talking about either of those things at this point.”
“As the demo faded the room fell silent, and I was convinced that I had just witnessed one of the most cinematic, atmospheric and realistic moments in gaming history. A fitting ‘Finale’ indeed, I thought, blinking violently as Doug switched the lights on, signalling the end of an incredible day.”
Priceless. Why can’t you be like that, Steve? You’re always so cold and distanced!
Hey, I recognize that writing style! I hope all the work he put into the article doesn’t mean Max Payne 2 is going to be delayed.
from the preview
"A lot of people said that the first time Barney or a scientist died, they felt bad, that they felt a personal connection with those characters. "
Wow, I thought I was the only one who felt bad when a scientist was first killed by some spec ops guy! I’m not ALONE!
etc
You’re right, I’m a failure. I’m so ashamed.
I’m fairly certain this could be published in any erotica compilation.
My guest priveledges expired, so I cant see just how l33t this preview is. For shame. :cry:
C’mon, it’s brilliant. It’s hot. It’s erotic:
“I needed time to catch my breath, but Gabe was keen to push on, every minute precious…”
“My body felt exhausted as I relaxed my taught muscles, drained from the tension…”
Woah.
…director of marketing Doug Lombardi and Valve’s managing director Gabe Newell took me through just about every element of a game that simply belies belief, that realises the dreams of every gaming vision you’ve dreamt about.
You know you’re excited when the visions you’re dreaming have dreams of their own, and they’re all fulfilled in a belief belying manner.
Can you have sex with Half Life 2? I think thats the REAL question!
etc
No, but apparently it causes spontaneous orgasms when seen for the first time, at least for some people.
I’d hate to think what happened to this guy when he saw the 100 times better demo at E3. He probably spontaneously combusted.
Don’t let him eat any of that Matrix 2 cake!
There is no cake.
“Belies belief”? That’s great! I’m guessing he meant to say it ‘defies belief’, but was too breathless from watching the demo.
If you’re going to use a cliche, the least you can do for your readers is mangle it.
-TomELEVEN FUCKING PAGES?..
It’s funny. I did that Disturbed concert review in the Books, Music, etc. forum here as a joke…yet this guy does the same kind of review for real and gets it published.
I must be missing something here…
–Dave
It was entirely ironic. Um, yeah, a parody of the breathless previews of their competitors.
And why are you always poking fun at other publications’ writing? Could it be you feel you have something to hide yourself?
The way she stood, the subtle sway of her hips as she shifted her weight, the way her upper body rolled as she put her hands on her hips. Most extraordinary of all, though, was her face.
Oh god. Please be the cure for my dating woes. Does she like walks on the beach too?
And why are you always poking fun at other publications’ writing? Could it be you feel you have something to hide yourself?[/quote]
Because it’s sometimes funny?
Troy