I’ve woken up at 3am with a splitting tension headache every night for the past week. I’m exhausted both from lack of sleep and from constant stress. It’s not even the situation or prospects for the future; it’s that nothing settles down. There’s never a new normal. Every day it changes. And everything, every message from any authority, is vague, inconsistent, and inevitably ignores the big, obvious questions and fails to provide the big, obvious reassurances.
I’ve got one person who can’t pay the rent because the bartender in the house no-longer has a bar to go to, they hate landlords right now and say screw them. There is a landlord in the family who is scared because they think renters are going to crew them, and they hate them.
And it’s like… everyone is suffering, everyone is trying, everyone is scared but no, no someone has to be at the bottom, and they’re all fighting each other for claiming that bottom spot, and that’s before the person who just opened up a convenience store and owns a restaurant with no drive-thru and no app…
Me. I just want them to remember we’re all in this together, and it’s not his fault or her fault, no reason to hate him, or hate him, it’s not like I just did something pretty big a few months ago, like, you know, buy a house but I’m not important because let’s go through a list of reasons people have for not putting me at the bottom.
I don’t actually want to be on the bottom. What good does that do? What improvement does that provide? It’s a nothing burger to claim that bottom trophy but boy are people trying to claim it.
It’s the worst thread to contradict positive thoughts, but this is a little much. Soon enough, probably.
@Nesrie, I don’t know what to say, I hope we all get through this with most of our sanity, even if the aftermath doesn’t look very bright. You never know, humanity can always surprise us in good ways, even if it takes a while. I’m hanging on to that, even if it feels very irrational.
The thing that gets me up every morning is similar to what I tell… all of them: I am not alone. They are not alone. None of us are alone. This too will end, and if we are all so lucky, this might be one of the worst we get to remember in our lifetimes.
Its interesting, in the clinical sense, to observe the way people respond.
On a personal level there is certain things which always help me. For one I am an engineer by nature. It helps to break down the real situation, impacts, risks, etc. Putting real practical numbers to things keeps things in check. I can rationalize the thingn, as @Timemaster_Tim said, Vulcan brain. Very much my approach, almost always.
And the other thing is exercise. It’s always true for me, but more so now, that exercise is critical for my own mental health and sanity. My daily run keeps me even, keeps stress down. Any time I go for more than 2-3 days without some form of exercise I get real on the struggle bus. A week and I am clawing up the walls.
Not talking to people is no big thing, but not getting outside is my own personal hell.
And like @Hal9000 I have more than a little practical survival skill. Not nearly to his degree, not even close, but I have a garden, know local forage, even grew up hunting. Plus a well stocked pantry and coming mushroom and berry season and even in extended supply issues could suppliment. Going full mountain man with 3 kids? Probably not. But if that was the requirement we’re all fucked anyhow so I don’t worry about that.
Just as long as Oregon doesn’t go full don’t leave your house I’ll survive.
Though my wife just got notified her automatic subscription for diapers from Target got canceled so we might see actual shit hit literal fans in our house sooner than later :)
Being in a climate where you can grow food is a huge boon, especially if you can greenhouse it! I always hated Montana (as compared to NC) in that regard, as we had basically no growing season, and the soil was garbage.
Very good advice about exercising. It sucks at first, but I got my own home gym setup and am looking better than ever, which honestly improves my mood and outlook on life.
PS, as a happy bit of news, one of my friends owns production facilities in Wuhan and Shenzhen, and he says that they’re fully back up and running again with no lingering issues. :+)
Awesome. May I ask what industry that is?
He is heavily involved in real estate. At some point in the past, he had a number of heating/cooling issues in buildings and now they produce things to do with that. I never talk to him about it too much, since he tends to really get going if you bring up his businesses. (He’s the lecture-y sort.)
I am, oddly, enjoying myself actually.
i tend towards being fairly solitary, so enforced quarantine is not an issue for me.
I am also quite me focused, by which I mean I know how to manage my thoughts, how to manage my time, how to amuse myself etc.
I can also go long periods of time with no stimulus, e.g. turn off the phone, computer etc and not be too fussed about it.
I am also an avid reader, have been since childhood, so can focus my attention on something as “boring” (relative to playing Doom, for example) as a book for extended periods of time.
What worries me is the people in my environs, who’ve never had to stay still and do nothing.
Order online and curbside pickup.
It’s a challenge in our household. I’m introverted and taking it fine, she’s extroverted and struggling. We live in one of the earlier hotzones and have spent time in the US with family most of this year to avoid lockdowns, so now I say let’s go back - but she would prefer lockdown in the US versus mitigation elsewhere. Lots to unpack.
Considering I am over 60, have two immunity disorders, asthma and am on chemo infusions that suppresses my immunity system, I am a prime target for this virus. I do have good support though, so even though I am on full lockdown, I have friends and family in contact with me daily and who will help keep me supplied if this thing drags out for months. I just look at it as one of life’s many challenges. Be smart, take precautions and ride it out is my motto. On the plus side I recently installed a bidet so I shall not fall victim to the Great TP Famine of 2020.
I’m beginning to feel like Qt3 has ben a stealth vehicle for bidet manufacturers ;)
Yeah, that’s the conclusion we’ve come to. Grocery stores are, at this point, the main point of exposure. If we can avoid them by ordering out more, well, so be it.
We are doing ok.
I’m letting go of work, despite my crew continuing work. They are not in a happy state, not fun to work with at the moment and with the schools closures and my childcare providers both being very vulnerable to the virus, I’m signing off of work.
My kids are going fucking stir crazy, and my wife is keeping up appearances fairly well. We haven’t had any fights yet, but it does get tense at times.
Me, I get to fly less and I’m starting to miss work. Work is exercise for me and it grounds me.
Today I forced myself, the kids and my wife to go play outside. Turned off the screens and barked orders until shoes and coats and weewees were sorted. We played tag and such until we were panting and the kids were laughing. Next time will be easier.
Our household reaction has been, “Same stuff, different day,” and “Welcome to Our World.”
My wife has been on immune-suppressing drugs for years, so we’ve been doing all of these sanitation and distancing things for a long time (she’s got a custom-fit mask she wears if there’s going to be a crowd, now she’ll get fewer stares). I’ve also been working remotely & alone for years (company HQ is out of state, so they lease me an office near my home, and I’m the only one at that location). Luckily the company is a “critical infrastructure” business, so I’m continuing to work (very long hours the last few weeks!) and earn a salary.
Our kids are adults and the ones at home help with chores and keep themselves entertained, so no child care worries or sudden increase in forced togetherness. Mostly because of friends moving out of California, our real-life social interactions have decayed close to zero, so we dealt with that sense of loss long ago. We’ve lived in the same place for 20 years, and all of our neighbors have changed at least twice, so the neighborhood is pretty fragmented now. The age of Block Parties has ended.
So around here, the only new stresses from the pandemic have been trying to limit the schedule of my very active but elderly parents (solved now with California’s Stay at Home order), and this sudden run on Plaquenil, since that’s one of the most important drugs my wife needs.
My house is 2 people nearing 70 years old, both with lung problems, one with two previous strokes.
And me in my mid-40’s with lung problems that are my own damn fault.
Panic is starting to set in for all three of us. (Probably for me more than them, because I already have health anxiety and panic disorder.)
And even out here in the boonies it’s starting to spread. I finally managed to get the elders to stop buying packages of stuff they don’t need and that getting groceries via bring-them-to-your-vehicle is better than wandering around a crowded store. They’ve also fallen into using the bank drive through and the pharmacy drive through.
All 3 of us are on meds and none of us can get a 90-day supply. Thanks, insurance, for forcing all of us to go out in the middle of this at least every month.
Yes, I realize many, many people have it worse and don’t get to stay home at all. It doesn’t mean we can’t be scared out of our minds here.
I’m personally going extremely stir crazy. Hence my rapid-fire posting here, on FB, on multiple group chats, Discord servers, and Slack servers I’m a part of. . .
Bigtime extrovert, and the distant interactions just don’t get the chemicals flowing in my brain like being around people IRL does, and all the little foibles of online communication begin to really grind down my patience after awhile. But, c’est le vie. My gf had terrible childhood asthma that left her lungs wrecked, and her immune and circulatory systems are very weak for her age, so we’re practicing all the best safety stuff we possibly can to keep her from getting ill, if possible. I’ve been on a personal lockdown since the 9th, only venturing out a couple of times for groceries.