The Terrible Album Cover Thread

cliffski over in Everything Else made me want to start this. HERE BE THE RULES:

  1. We’re talking bad covers, not bad music. Just because I hate, say, Journey doesn’t mean their album covers weren’t kind of awesome.

  2. YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY OWN THE RECORD. Or CD. Or 8-track. Whatever. So no Heino covers unless you plopped down some actual money for it.

Let’s start things off with what has to be the crappiest cover I own:

Pigface - Fook:

Irritatingly, this is actually Pigface’s most consistent record, but Holy Jesus God what the hell? OK, I know it was 1992 and computers were really cool, but this seriously just makes me want to punch somebody.

Dual offenders:

One is a picture of blood and sperm. Classy.

The next is a picture of Blood and urine, but looks like a giant yellow ass bending down to take a huge dump.

I have no idea what they were thinking with the above cover.

And this is cheese beyond cheese.

It’s not quite so terrible as some of the above, but this one’s always struck me as a bad cover (not to mention a bad album):

My God, the chest hair…

I can’t see the picture you linked, but the mere mention of chest hair means I don’t want to.

Reload. I had to fix the image link.


Doesn’t help that Love Beach also massively sucked at the music. ELP really should have quit after Works V2. There’s some cool stuff on that album. They could have skipped Tarkus along the way, too. Which also had a cheesy cover, btw.

This might be a personal thing, and others might appreciate it as nothing but pure awesome, but this one has always irked me. I can’t put my finger on it, but it makes me want to get into a fist fight.

Really Slayer, Really? I guess they were aiming for creepy, but this is all kinds of the wrong type of creepy. It doesn’t make me feel all awesome like I should when when listening to an album with an awesome cover, like Slayer’s Divine Intervention, it makes me feel like I’m about to get molested by a pasty-faced zombie priest.

/thread over.

Since the thread is limited to albums we actually own that list suggests you own a ton of really bad albums.

I loved the album, but…

Oh man am I laughing at that one. At least he isn’t holding a jar of peanut butter.

I own a few of those… as does Mike apparently.

Continuing on with my beloved English prog rock:

Not one of Rick Wakeman’s best albums (not by a long shot), but still fun, with a few decent keyboard solos in the mix. I’m glad he stopped doing his own vocals, though. And, egads, is that cover awful!

JESUS CHRIST I HATE BONEY M. SO FUCKING MUCH. Honest to God, that album is like the reason punk was invented.

/end thread

I had it on vinyl, too!

But come on, Rivers of Babylon was catchy.

I won’t defend the cover, though, hence my contribution here.

I actually bought this album because the cover cracked me up, so I think it’s funny-bad rather than just bad-bad, but still… it’s bad.