| Title | The Worst Thing You'll See All Week: The Black Hole |
| Author | Tom Chick |
| Posted in | Movie reviews |
| When | May 12, 2014 |
Near the end of The Black Hole, the ship is assailed by "meteorites". At least that's what the robot informs the characters..
Read the full articleThis is why I don't revisit movies I loved as a kid, don't tell me the Cat from Outer Space sucks, I don't want to know! Still, Maximilian gave me nightmares, that is one badass robot.
"Better than Event Horizon" doesn't mean much. ;)
Maximilian and, as you mentioned, the ship are both very nice and effective designs. Other than that the strongest impression I have of The Black Hole is from childhood, specifically that the movie seemed to have a running time of somewhere around eight days and that I'd much rather be watching Godzilla beat up on some sweet miniatures.
Event Horizon was the bees' knees. It scared the crap out of myself and my friends back in college. We refused to go to our rooms . We'd have to go upstairs into the dark and fumble for a light switch. Instead we ran away from the TV and huddled in the circle of light cast by a CRT monitor. And played videogames. We didn't actually sit around the glow of the CRT like it was a campfire or anything.
That's the joke.
Actually, I have to give the movie props for the weird "Maximilian has blackholesex with Reinhardt and they become one...IN HELL" sequence at the end. That was a serious bit of WTF after two hours of zzzzzz.
I will freely grant you that Event Horizon has some pretty freaky moments, specifically during the set-up. But they all come to naught for me. Remember how the token black comic relief guy splats into the window during the climactic battle? That guy's fate is a metaphor for the audience of the movie.
What saves Event Horizon for me is Sean Pertwee walking around looking cross. "This ship is fucked" he says. You're such a tease, Sean.
A little Pertwee goes a long way.
i like it
Cold, Tom. Real Cold.
He's six feet tall and he went to Pluto.
I love me some Event Horizon. I don't tell Tom that, though.
Is it just me, or does B.O.B. look like Cartman from South Park?
....if it's just me, I'll stop drinking this early in the morning.
Wait what! EH was great! Damn you!
I know that I have watched this, but it has been forever. My memory of the running time corroborates yours. Didn't stop me from picking up the awesome Mondo poster, though: http://bitcast-r.v1.iad1.bitgr...
The best line in Event Horizon is Laurence Fishburne's reaction after seeing the fate of the previous crew: "We are leaving."
... which reminds me of Angus Sampson's wonderful reaction in Insidious 2 to being told by crazy possessed girl to leave or die.
Sorry but Event Horizon wins by name alone. They are both terrible movies, but Event Horizon is so much cooler than Cygnus for a spaceship. Its just a freaking awesome name.
