Things you should never, under any circumstances, ingest but are technically food

Oh. Offal. I think ive posted about some of these individually or in a previous offal conversation upthread but ill summarise the lot again for your delight.

Fergus Henderson is one of Britains greatest chefs, so this is an ode to his nose to tail philosophy.

Top down

Brains - lambs, on toast. Or this. The brain burger.

poached then crumbed and fried, served with finely sliced white cabbage and a caper-studded sauce gribiche if you go to St John.

Cheeks, ok not offal but beef cheeks are the best meat for a casserole you will ever have. Absolutely fabulous after a good few hours slow cooking with red wine. Pig cheeks I did i cider in a similar way. Fish cheeks are great too, Skate “knobs” are lovely and a cheap way to eat.

Working our way down, let’s not go to far, because the thymus gland is handily renamed Sweetbreads, and rather delicious. I’ve even cooked these at home but are a bit fiddly to prepare.

but these are the ones I had at Marcus Wareing.

they had a sweet, sticky Asian style glaze on them.

Hearts… duck hearts and chicken hearts on a skewer and grilled or a robata are heavenly, or big, very rare slices of ox heart mixed with rare beef from Tongue n Cheek at Kerb

Lungs- found in stuff, can’t ever recall seeing them as a dish.

Liver - calf liver is a luxury and treated like steak. Chicken livers I do Southern Fried. Pig and cow liver with bacon, or in things. It can be a bit grim if overcooked.

Here’s a pigeon liver, heart, and something very pink ive forgotten accompanying a pigeon main course at The Ledbury

Kidneys - in beef casseroles and pies is an easy win. Or one of my favourite dishes, devilled kidneys on toast. but can also be lightly grilled and almost raw from smaller animals.

Stomach - Tripe. With bacon, peas and onions at St John is best. Although really nice in a pho. There’s a dying British tradition of boiled tripe eaten with vinegar (perhaps 1 or 2 stalls in the North left now), and thats where its got its bad rep from.

Intenstines are… an acquired taste, but Ive been adventurous enough to try andouillette a few times. I first ate one when my parents accidentally ordered it on holiday in France and i finished the plate no one else could eat.

The French connoisseurs describe the best andouilette as “really shitty”

Lower still? Really?

Yup. Eggs aren’t just from birds. We’ve all eaten big salmon roes on Sushi right? Or caviar? Or cods roes battered and fried? but has anyone had milt? Its really nice on toast.

Whats milt I hear you ask? Well its the opposite of eggs from a female fish, from the male fish. Do i need to spell it out or are your retching?

There are other bits, eyes, ears, lips, dicks, vaginas, nipples, anuses, bladders etc Ive not tried… whole but we’ve all eaten them a million times because thats what hotdogs and processed meats are made from. They are usually blasted off the carcass with a high pressure water jet.